Posted on 03/14/2012 9:30:42 AM PDT by Morgana
March 14, 2012 (AmericanThinker.com) - My soul carries a new scar. The pain is fresh and keen, and I know that while time might see the pain fade, I will never fully recover from what I’ve seen, and done. For I have failed, intentionally and knowingly, in the first duty of a parent: protecting the lives of two of my children.
My wife and I wanted children; alas, we needed IVF treatment to realize this dream. Several cycles and multiple embryo implantations later, we welcomed our blessing from G-d, who is the light of our lives.
Recently, we tried for another.
“It never rains, but it pours,” said the fertility doctor—of the three embryos that were implanted, all three took. We were faced with the news of triplets. I was shocked, knowing the burden that would entail, but since G-d gave us three, I was prepared to do whatever I needed to do to help, manage, and provide.
My wife? Something snapped. She insisted that we do a “selective reduction” from three to one, or else she would have a full abortion. She was adamant. She would not carry three. She would not carry two.
I was presented with a Coventry-esque decision: save one, or save none. I chose the former, though I tried on several occasions to convince her to at least keep twins. I failed.
We were told, point-blank, by the doctor who would do the procedure that they would inject potassium chloride into the placenta to stop the hearts. We were told, point-blank, that it was painless. Even then, I knew I was being lied to, but given the choice presented, I agreed anyway. My mantra became “Save one, or save none.”
Before the procedure, my wife’s eyes teared up; she asked the doctor over and over if they would feel pain, and was assured they would not. I asked again if my wife was sure about this because once done, it could not be undone. She said she was sure, but her tears and her looking away from the screen, deliberately, and her wanting me to not look either, told me the truth: she knew as well that this was wrong. I wanted to insist that she look, but I think that her mind—already fractured by the news of triplets—would have snapped permanently had she seen the images onscreen. And to save the one, and for the sake of the one we already had, I needed my wife sane.
My wife didn’t look, but I had to. I had to know what would happen to my children. I had to know how they would die.
Each retreated, pushing away, as the needle entered the amniotic sac. They did not inject into the placenta, but directly into each child’s torso. Each one crumpled as the needle pierced the body. I saw the heart stop in the first, and mine almost did, too. The other’s heart fought, but ten minutes later they looked again, and it too had ceased.
The doctors had the gall to call the potassium chloride, the chemical that stopped children’s hearts, “medicine.” I wanted to ask what they were trying cure—life? But bitter words would not undo what had happened. I swallowed anything I might have said.
I know they felt pain. I know they felt panic. And I know this was murder. I take cold comfort in knowing that as far as we can tell, the survivor is still fine, and in knowing that this decision did not come from me; I would have taken the chance on triplets, even with all the work and effort it would have required. I pray that this one child will come to term, will be born into this world alive and healthy, and I know he or she will have all our love.
But that emotional scar will ache my whole life. I see my child’s smile every night and anticipate a new one in some months…but I think of the two smiles I will never see. Every day, returning from work, I hear “Hi Daddy!” and know there are two voices and two giggles that I will never hear. I play with and cuddle my child, looking forward to the same with the second…but I know there are two sets of hands that will never touch mine, two sets of toes that will never be counted, two hugs that will forever be absent from my arms.
I pray to G-d every day to take those two innocents to Him, to welcome them, and I ask them every day for forgiveness. As I will every day for the rest of my life. I don’t know what accommodation my wife will make mentally and spiritually. That is her business, and a burden her conscience must bear.
But let nobody fool you. It is not painless for the child, and anyone who says otherwise is a liar. Abortion is not an excision of a featureless bunch of cells; it is infanticide. We have revived the practice of child sacrifice to the new deities of casual sex and convenience. We rationalize the reality of murder by altering our perspective of the nascent life through euphemisms like “fetus” or descriptions of “a clump of cells”...just like the Nazis convinced themselves that the people screaming as they were shot or gassed were “Untermenchen,” subhuman, and therefore guiltlessly exterminated.
This is how every perpetrator of genocide has always rationalized his or her actions. By doing likewise, we condemn our own souls
I wept in joy, a few years ago, when I saw my first child’s heartbeat on the screen. And I weep in agony now at the memory of two of my children’s heartbeats being stilled. “Save one, or save none” has been eclipsed by “Out, out, damned spot!” as I wonder how I can redeem myself.
If, by baring this scar for others to see, I can prevent an abortion, perhaps that will help to balance the scales for when I face G-d’s justice and I finally meet those two children—who I hope will forgive me for my failure.
When a man can get pregnant and give birth to a child, then and only then does he have the right to any part of the decision.
Until then, respect the womans decision and shut the F*ck up.
Always remember the woman is the one who will spend the next 18 years raising the child, the man maybe if he sticks around or if he doesn’t, he may actually pay his child support, however I wouldn’t recommend having 3 childern at once to find out.
***Never trust anything from an anonymous author.***
Good point. The article is extremely well written by someone with a very strong pro-life ethic and I agree with your observation that this is not his own experience. Perhaps it is based on a couple that he knows or had heard about. The story was so disturbing that he felt compelled to illustrate the cowardice & immorality from both the male and female perspectives.
Even if he is lying about being the ‘father’ his narrative is still powerful.
Jews and couple Christian denominations do not spell out God. You’re off base on that one.
The husband’s desire to please his wife has out weighed his desire to please God. A shame that the wife’s vanity and selfishness has so severly damaged this marriage. Gone is the hope, trust and respect. It is now replaced with pain, guilt and resentment. That is no foundation to build a family on.
That child is as much the man’s as it is the womans. And there are plenty of reported cases where it is the mother who skips out on the relationship so don’t paint with just one brush. Unfaithfullness to the family and one’s responsibilities runs through both sexes.
Abortion is all ways the intentional killing of a human being and is against God’s law and if we as a nation had any morals, it would be against our laws as well.
I could not keep reading. Oh my loving Gd, this is so atrocious.
My first amnio, the doc (in Europe) was another source of cruel. He poked The needle into my 3 mo along baby’s hand and crowed, “look how he pulls away!”. That was my first mama grizzly feeling in my life. I wanted to take. Him. Down.
Selective reduction is murder.
There are ways to do IVF correctly, where each embryo is cherished as potential life. Put back only the number of embryos you wish to carry. If your family is complete, donate your other embryos to another family. I’m living this and loving it.
Not spelling out His name is only for things that will be deleted or thrown away. It’s a sign of worship. If you were going to keep it forever as in a book of prayers, you can write it out.
Nederland is a good example of this.
This is why I am not a big fan of fertility drugs. It is trying to play God.
If a husband and wife are unable to conceive, there is likely a reason for it. We shouldn’t turn to weird science.
The way this is written, it sounds like this is a couple in their late 30’s or early 40’s who first focused on education and career building, and then decided to have themselves a designer-baby for their vanity or prestige.
Realizing that they are unable to conceive because they are past the ideal time, they turn to science and the fertility doctor. The result is triplets.
Wifey only wanted one child, so she will just simply discard the other two. We live in a selfish disposable society, where perpetual happiness is the goal, even at the expense of life.
Husband is the very definition of a sack-less pansy. No wonder he couldn’t get her pregnant.
Rather than telling the vile woman that he will not stay with her if she aborts two of his children, he goes along with it. Now we are supposed to feel bad for him.
Did I miss anything?
zot
Very true.
Fathers have a natural right to protect the lives of their pre-born baby daughters and sons. And fathers are not deserters by default, as you falsely claim.
I believe GOD knew what he was doing when he made this woman barren. He knew she didn’t have the heart of a mother. She was probably worried about the stretch marks she might endure if she carried more than one.
How her husband can ever forgive her for her decision is beyond me. How can you stay married to someone you don’t respect anymore?
Thank you, Jim. That post is repulsive.
>> shut the ...
Your brain! It’s severely underdeveloped!
You've got that right. I know a woman(went to school with her and her second husband)who not only ran off and left her child, she left him with his step-father, who adopted him and finished raising him. In fact she sold the custody rights to my friend(the step-father)for $10,000. My friend never told his son about that part. It was bad enough that she simply left him without even saying goodbye.
Many women are far worse than men, many aren't, but for ggwyo to say men have no say in the child's welfare, before or after they are born, is just BS.
This is the first time I’ve seen it. Why does it bother you?
I just get tired of stories being posted repeatedly. This is one of many. Why do you ask?
It's always good to see liberalism crushed, isn't it?
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