Posted on 03/09/2012 4:35:26 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Try to stay calm.
Take a deep breath.
For today is Panic Day.
Can you handle today?
Good, I was worried for a moment.
Hopefully, everything is going just swell in your life, and you have no need for this day.
But, if problems and troubles are looming, try to hold off hitting the panic button until this day arrives.
Don't worry. Don't fret. and, above all, don't panic. However, if ever there was a day to panic, today is that day.
As you get through this unsettling day, you have another day to worry about.......International Panic Day.
Top 20 ways to get the most out of Panic Day:
1) You are definitely encouraged to loudly proclaim, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more!" Or, run around wildly and proclaim , "I'm stressed, I'm stressed and I can't take it any more!"
2) Megaphones are allowed, but its even better if you can exercise your natural lung power, breathing very fully and deeply for a great big, cathartic shout.
3) We encourage employees everywhere to fill their companys suggestion box with the request for a sound proof, padded room. Thus, Panic Day and any other occasion that requires loud, ridiculous behavior can be celebrated discreetly.
4) If, like most of us, you are without a sound proof, padded room, then be bold, be assertive, and take a stand by the water cooler, swearing not to budge until things get better..
5) Stay in bed all day. But first, get up, brush your teeth, head to the kitchen and load up on snacks and drinks. Make sure you have lots of fluffy pillows to hide your head under.
6) Get up and go jogging or swimming or bike riding.
7) Phone in well. Call your boss and tell him or her that you feel too darn good to come in to work today, even though its a fib. That way you wont appear to be a victim.
8) Go to work way over-dressed. Wear a tux or a prom gown, and, when asked what its about, simply reply, I have an engagement later on. Keep em guessing.
9) Call the local TV station and tell them youre going to run for President and that youre holding a news conference at your house at noon.
10) Go the animal shelter and adopt a dog or cat.
11) Attempt to dye your hair in a checkerboard pattern.
12) Head for the toy store and buy as many toy soldiers as you can and come home and conduct a war in your living room.
13) Mix up a couple bottles full of food coloring and water and go out and write wacky things on the snow.
14) Call the Y and try to convince the pool manager that the pool should be filled with lime yogurt.
15) Start a new religion.
16) Put red dots all over your face and go food shopping.
17) Go the shore and walk the beach, or go to the mountains and climb a large hill.
18) Stand on one foot in the middle of a large mall, waving your arms up and down and proclaim, Im a bad bad birdie, Im a bad bad birdie.
19) Go to a Senior Center and sit down and have a chat with some nice older person.
20) Contact the local fire company and ask if you can come over and help wash a fire truck.
Arrh! The Sea Hag!
Thanks dragonblustar— I can’t stop chuckling over that one! :)
If a light sleeper sleeps with a light on, what does a hard sleeper sleep with?
Hau Long is a China man's name.
(Discuss amongst yourselves)
Hahaha, I see that Looter man got a job guiding tourists on horseback ocean tours!
A little water never stopped Looter Man!
Nice touch inserting the bottle of “Jerkins Lotion” on the desk.....
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