Posted on 02/22/2012 1:07:59 PM PST by SmithL
Panhandling has always been an important part of human existence, ever since people were put in poverty by a society that sometimes lacks mercy. It is not fair or accurate to say that you should never give money to a panhandler. There are people who would perish without the generosity of strangers. We can not presume to know that they created their own problems and should reap the results. There are plenty of people who became poor largely due to circumstances that weren't under their control.
I have given coins out of my pocket to panhandlers under certain circumstances, and sometimes not, when I felt that it would jeopardize me or someone to do so. I have compiled a guide that works for me concerning when I give a few coins in my pocket or not. Since I rarely carry cash except for these few coins which serve as meter money or candy bar money, I am not in a situation of getting my wallet out.
To begin with, since I am a smoker I get asked for cigarettes a lot. However, many of those who ask me for one look like they could possibly be underage. In these instances, I always refuse. (I do not have to give a reason.) On the other hand, if someone appears close to my age and also does not appear to be an undercover cop, I will often give someone a smoke when asked. For those who believe that smoking is a horrendous evil, just ignore this part of the manuscript.
When someone is holding a sign at a freeway off ramp, I drive by without helping that person. I send that person good thoughts. However, I do not want to create a hazardous situation that could cause a car accident. You are not doing anyone a favor when you block traffic to give to a panhandler, especially when this causes a car accident that could entail someone getting injured.
Is someone appears threatening to me, I do not give help. This is entirely by my perception and does not rely on an attempt at objectivity. If I feel threatened, it is bad for me to help the person who is associated with that feeling, even if it is only in my own mind. I will remain polite to that person and will speak respectfully, but will not give money in return for intimidation. (Of course this idea does not include the IRS.) How do you know if someone is truly threatening you? Often you don't know and must operate by what feels real from your own limited perspective. If someone is exchanging threat for cash, it is not a gift, it is extortion. This is a bully-ism and is a different idea than the threat of a crime being perpetrated, which I cover next.
If it is late at night, if the situation seems scary, or if you think you could be a victim of robbery or violence, then you must do whatever works in that situation. Usually that entails getting some distance as quickly as possible, and doing so without increasing your vulnerability-which getting out your wallet or getting close to a person would do. I was in front of a Macy's at a mall when three gentlemen who appeared to be sporting a tough guy fashion, (you know, the goatees and scarves over the heads) approached me and one of them said, "Give it up." Rather than standing there waiting for them to get closer, I quickly stood from the bench (where I had been reading) and ran into the Macy's so that anything that would happen would be recorded by their security cameras. The three followed me in but then realized they were among Macy's shoppers, and they proceeded to look like idiots, and then they left.
A few years ago, I was in front of a McDonald's and had just bought a couple of hamburgers, when a man begged for help and said that he was starving to death and had problems with his blood sugar. I handed my hamburger to that man. He was quite grateful.
When I am on foot, and in public where everything feels safe, and someone asks for spare change in a respectful way (they do not need to humiliate themselves or beg, they just need to be polite) I will give that person whatever change is in my pocket, which might total less than a dollar, or which could be a couple dollars. If I had more income and if I carried cash more often, I would give more. In addition to the change I am offering, I am giving the message of unconditional love. This does something to better the human condition.
I don't see that, they would pay the rent or the utility bill but the guy asking wasn't being truthful. Had a Pastor who met needs, guy wanted money because he was hungry, Pastor told him to go to a restaraunt in town and he would arrange for a hot roast beef sandwich meal. When the guy said he didn't like roast beef, the Pastor told him he wasn't hungry enough.
Even though our company (Japanese) isn't big on this sort of thing, the vendor had read some old business protocol somewhere that it was proper to give your Japanese customers nice gifts.
Anyway, the meeting concludes, and the vendor thrusts a nice 750ml gift box of Remy Martin into his hand as he beats a hasty retreat.
My co-worker is dumbfounded. He has a plane to catch and an armload of luggage. As he schleps to the nearest taxi stand, a derelict approaches him and asks for spare change. My friend's hands are too full to reach anything, but he needs a hand free to open the taxi door. He lays the Remy in the wino's outstretched hand and boards the taxi. The wino would not have reacted better if he had hit the Powerball jackpot. A priceless moment!
Third World poverty is a whole ‘nother thing vs. U.S. “poverty”.
I’m not saying there is no one in the U.S. who doesn’t deserve a hand. But they are pretty few and far between, especially compared to the sort of places you named.
Wow - that is terrific! You mean all those disdainful posters attacking the idea of helping the poor are actually doing quite a bit to help the homeless? And I thought perhaps they walked by because of pure selfishness ("It'll be a cold day in Hades before one of these bums gets a dime of my hard-earned money..._)
If you think giving money to people with serious substance abuse problems helps them think again. Talk to them, watch over them to ensure their safety, give them clothes or shelter on a rainy night, buy them food, help them get into treatment, or just walk right by
I was totally with you until the last bit: "or just walk by..." Please explain how "just walking by" fulfills your responsibility towards the unfortunate?
That kind of ugly business is pretty common in some foreign countries, particularly in Asia. It is really bad news for the people caught up in it.
So much better to be able look down on those clueless pushovers who were foolish enough to actually lend assistance to the poor, as you clutch your pocketbook to your bosom, justifying a selfishness that is so complete that you would not even part with a pittance.
I believe the response indicates a belief that if you can’t or won’t do any of these things, then don’t just hand them money to get rid of them or out of a sense of guilt. The majority actually do have substance abuse problems and are cadging money to buy the next round. You’d be harming them, rather than helping them.
I happen to agree with that sentiment, having had an office for over a decade on the bleeding edge of gentrification, near a downtown area. Stick around, you’ll see the same people again and again and again, no worse for wear, manning the same spots, telling the same sad tale, until it gets known, then another fantastical yarn is created. Ohhhh, help me help me my baby done got towed off in my car, I gotta have two hunnert dollars to get my baby back out of impound, she need her formula. Bizarre nonsense such as that, and they’re so blitzed they don’t remember you, so you get to hear it over and over.
The new faces, you get so you can tell. A genuinely down on his or her luck person is sort of, well, reluctant. Sad. Not in your face, not all that eager to recount all the travail that put them there.
Those people, I tried to help. Buy them something to eat, put gas in their car if they had one, give them a lift to someplace dry and warm if they needed it, but money never changed hands.
Well at least you tried to help. That's more than some posters on this thread, who boast about never helping the poor.
I have worked for many years downtown, where I passed some of the same people year after year. I have been to numerous rescue missions (not as a resident, thank the Lord). It does take discernment to determine who could actually use a bit of cash, and those who you could "call their bluff" by offering food. I have seen heart-wrenching cases where I gave everything I could spare and wish I had more.
Simple - giving cash to alcoholics and drug addicts doesn't help them. You might feel good giving them the cash, but would you feel good giving them a $10 bag of heroin? I hope not. So if you aren't going to do something to actually help the less fortunate person don't do anything - just walk by. That, in its own way, is more helpful than giving them the cash that buys them the heroin or alcohol that kills them.
If that bothers you, try just spending time talking to them, or helping them get food, shelter, or help.
Massad Ayoob, in one of his books (it could have been “In the Gravest Extreme”) said that it’s not a bad idea to have a twenty-dollar bill wrapped up in a rubber band for those occasions in which a bunch of punks has you alone and vulnerable. Rather than just blowing them away (and you know all the paperwork involved in that!), he says to flip the twenty to them and say something like “Here, buy yourself some beers.”
Well, it’s kinda on topic. They are, in a sense, begging prior to assaulting you.
If you want to do this guy some real good, steer him to the local VA hospital or VFW or other veteran's organization of your choice or AA or Salvation Army or like-minded church group of your choice. They will do a lot more for him than throw him spare change to buy his next bottle. Sometimes, they even turn lives like this around.
Good point - I'm all for the VA, AA, and the Salvation Army. Don't forget the rescue missions, which also do such a wonderful job caring for people in need.
Too late for my guy, though. He died of liver failure at the young age of 44.
I had a friend end up down there, him I tried to help in any way I could. He continued to spiral down, out of control, alcohol and drugs. He finally hit bottom and ended up in jail. That, to his credit, finally halted the decline. Last I heard, he had his own place, and was holding down a job. Quite the accomplishment, being independent again. What’s amazing is, he had a very bright future and was doing very well, for material things he did not want.
I’m quite aware that they’re not all scammers. Most of them are, though, and some can be violent. I had to throw the same guy, a stranger, out of my car twice over the course of a week, he jumped in the passenger seat when I used the remote to unlock the door. He’ll come to no good end, somebody will kill him if he’s still doing that.
It does less harm than your approach. And it has the advantage of not feeding one's sense of self righteousness, which leads to fewer obnoxious lectures like yours...a definite plus.
That's the problem with liberals -- they make everything worse, then add insult to injury by lecturing everyone about how righteous they are. Perfect example is the effect of Great Society social welfare on blacks. It's hard to imagine a more effective act of sabotage against blacks, specifically the black family, yet liberals, who were the chief promoters of this sabotage, dare to lecture and scold the rest of us and act as though they are the virtuous angels of our society.
That's what you remind me of.
Happy Ash.
Great story! You are to be commended for getting involved in trying to help him. I'm not saying we should all toss wads of money at everyone. What I find offensive is the attitude: "What's mine is mine and all those bums can go to h#$& for all I care - I'm tired of seeing that trash."
As far as I am concerned, people who have no compassion for others are the real losers.
LOL kinda pricked your conscience, eh?
“If most people that “panhandle” spend as much time looking for a job as they did panhandling....they wouldn’t need to panhandle, because they would be employed.”
My son (presently studying accounting), has observed the same thing as you. He has wondered (half-jokingly) about asking panhandlers to sell their sign to him, as the haggling would help them develop business acumen.
Never to be accused of not having a morbid sense of humor, He also joked about turning them into a humorous coffee-table book documenting the sob stories, that he could sell to the heartless “one percent-ers”.
Chip off the ol’ block, he is.
Uh, yeah man.
“A genuinely down on his or her luck person is sort of, well, reluctant.”
My son when he was younger went out with the church for a night of feeding homeless people. They all made sandwiches at the church, put them in a bag with an apple or banana and water and went downtown.
He went up to one old homeless lady to offer her the simple meal. She refused. He sort of pressed on, and she explained “I can’t eat a whole sandwich at once, and nowhere safe to keep the other half, and someone would just steal the other half. So no thank you.”
He did finally get her to take it. Quite the realization for a 14-year old kid to see.
I have gone into a liquor store and bought bums cheap Whiskey by the 1.5..or food though they usually prefer the drink
they needed it...they went back to their camp down by the Cumberland river and did what they do..hopefully none fell in
giving to feel good about oneself misses the point...not you..but some allude to that
i give cause I can
not just to street bums and FR bums and kinfolks
I still give...but things are harder for me too nowadays
I prefer beggars to robbers and stealers
some folks are just hard cased...I don't hold it against them
hope I never ask them for nothing though
I will not give to Occupy looking Bonnaroo rejects but I have bought ice cream for their kids
i used to do that in Copacabana and Leme...whichever girlfriend I had at that time would suggest buying food for all the gaminas so the older kids or Fagins would not rob them...I'd have a whole line of littl kids buying ice cream or hot dogs...seriously 50-100 kids all lined up...girlfriend would cry...think I was so sweet....women love that...it did have benefits though come to think of it looking back..lol
it's really heartbreaking...at least for me....in the third world...there are completely parentless children only 4-5 years old running around being looked after by older kids...totally on their own
and they grow up and cause problems...they get killed..if they make it that far..it's unbelievable
and with our urban areas in decline and illegitimacy and no limit poverty immigration...we are headed there
jackasses like Bill Gates and Buffett instead of funding abortions and leftist crap should establish large scale homes in places like that...basically huge orphanages under the auspices of Samaritans Purse or someone like that
I give because I was raised that way I guess...and now that I have basically a zillion kids of my own...I'm a Santoriumal type guy I reckon in that regard...it would tear me up worse now to see so many children given such a raw existence...just awful I was young then...could shut it off easier
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