Posted on 01/28/2012 5:37:58 PM PST by Doc Savage
You, and your able-bodied assistant, Gort, have just arrived in Washington, D.C., as emissaries from Kepler 22b, an earth-like planet from another solar system. Your mission is to save the Republican party from committing political suicide. Unfortunately you and Gort have arrived too late. Your original flight plan had you arriving in 2007 but Gort hit the wrong button and here you are.
After you and Gort check-in to a lovely two bedroom suite at the Willard you turn on TV and are astounded to find that the United States is now ruled under a socialist dictator and that the GOP has arranged themselves into a lethal circular firing squad from which no one survives
While Gort checks the mini-bar for Romulan Scotch you send back a message to Kepler 22b indicating that all is lost, the mission a complete failure. You scratch your head (while Gort pours himself a double) trying to ascertain what wrong. A Conservative should be in power, the economy should be thriving, and the communists should be fleeing to Venezuela. For some reason your memory-logs keep typing the name John McCain over and over. Apparently, this is where the GOP train went off the tracks.
While Gort orders up room-service, you, Klaatu, begin compiling a list of 2011-2012 GOP casualties. Apparently a McCain clone was anointed by the hapless RINO GOP elites to rescue the country. You're time machine indicates that he loses in a landslide and that the United States becomes a communist gulag.
Gort asks, "What happened to the pizza guy, the broad with strange eyes, the Texas mumbler, Arlen's butt boy, Ron the Wacko, and Newt the psycho?? But it's all too late. The Conservatives have lost again, the country is swirling down the throat of the porcelain-pony and the DNC politburo has begun a Stalin-like purge of Free Republic
As you and Gort hit warp 9 back to Kepler 22b you wonder aloud what could have been. Unfortunately, Gort is smashed and sleeping it off in the engine room. Klaatu barada nikto!
*toke* You mean the Beatles are getting back together? Wow, man.
Nicely done...humor will keep us alive but blood sweat and tears will be required to re-take the republic.
‘TDTEST’ Bump
There’s only one solution. We have to go back in time and “neutralize” Juan McCain.
This cannot continue. At some point we will come to the realization that the ballot box is no longer working.
And Gort mumbles, “Come on, Klaatu - there is no intelligent life here. Let’s go home.”
I’m with you.
Juan McCain was already neutered, in 2008.
Three of Jabba’s skiff guards?
Our emissaries from Kepler 22b may be technically advanced for space travel but their ability to use historical information to draw logical conclusions is seriously lacking, IMO. John McCain is a symptom, not a cause.
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