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Klaatu Barada Nikto
January 28, 2012 | Doc Savage

Posted on 01/28/2012 5:37:58 PM PST by Doc Savage

You, and your able-bodied assistant, Gort, have just arrived in Washington, D.C., as emissaries from Kepler 22b, an earth-like planet from another solar system. Your mission is to save the Republican party from committing political suicide. Unfortunately you and Gort have arrived too late. Your original flight plan had you arriving in 2007 but Gort hit the wrong button and here you are.

After you and Gort check-in to a lovely two bedroom suite at the Willard you turn on TV and are astounded to find that the United States is now ruled under a socialist dictator and that the GOP has arranged themselves into a lethal circular firing squad from which no one survives

While Gort checks the mini-bar for Romulan Scotch you send back a message to Kepler 22b indicating that all is lost, the mission a complete failure. You scratch your head (while Gort pours himself a double) trying to ascertain what wrong. A Conservative should be in power, the economy should be thriving, and the communists should be fleeing to Venezuela. For some reason your memory-logs keep typing the name John McCain over and over. Apparently, this is where the GOP train went off the tracks.

While Gort orders up room-service, you, Klaatu, begin compiling a list of 2011-2012 GOP casualties. Apparently a McCain clone was anointed by the hapless RINO GOP elites to rescue the country. You're time machine indicates that he loses in a landslide and that the United States becomes a communist gulag.

Gort asks, "What happened to the pizza guy, the broad with strange eyes, the Texas mumbler, Arlen's butt boy, Ron the Wacko, and Newt the psycho?? But it's all too late. The Conservatives have lost again, the country is swirling down the throat of the porcelain-pony and the DNC politburo has begun a Stalin-like purge of Free Republic

As you and Gort hit warp 9 back to Kepler 22b you wonder aloud what could have been. Unfortunately, Gort is smashed and sleeping it off in the engine room. Klaatu barada nikto!


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: gort; klaatu
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1 posted on 01/28/2012 5:38:05 PM PST by Doc Savage
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To: Doc Savage

*toke* You mean the Beatles are getting back together? Wow, man.


2 posted on 01/28/2012 5:40:53 PM PST by big'ol_freeper ("Evil is powerless if the good are unafraid" ~ Ronald Wilson Reagan)
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To: Doc Savage

Nicely done...humor will keep us alive but blood sweat and tears will be required to re-take the republic.


3 posted on 01/28/2012 5:41:53 PM PST by wxgesr (I want to be the first person to surf on another planet.)
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To: Doc Savage
Well, maybe not every single little syllable, but basically I said ‘em.
4 posted on 01/28/2012 5:42:52 PM PST by MrEdd (Heck? Geewhiz Cripes, thats the place where people who don't believe in Gosh think they aint going.)
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To: Doc Savage
"Dont blame me..I voted Cain and Kodos!"


5 posted on 01/28/2012 5:46:24 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Doc Savage; The Comedian
So Kepler 22b is populated by a race of comedians?
6 posted on 01/28/2012 5:48:33 PM PST by Navy Patriot (Join the Democrats, it's not Fascism when WE do it. (plagiarized))
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To: Doc Savage

7 posted on 01/28/2012 5:48:40 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Doc Savage

‘TDTEST’ Bump


8 posted on 01/28/2012 5:48:50 PM PST by higgmeister ( In the Shadow of The Big Chicken!)
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To: Doc Savage

There’s only one solution. We have to go back in time and “neutralize” Juan McCain.


9 posted on 01/28/2012 5:51:18 PM PST by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
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To: Doc Savage

This cannot continue. At some point we will come to the realization that the ballot box is no longer working.


10 posted on 01/28/2012 5:51:18 PM PST by Grunthor (I don't vote for Democrats, this includes Mitt Romney.)
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To: Doc Savage
Gort leading the way, his little man-pal Mitt in back


11 posted on 01/28/2012 5:55:54 PM PST by bigbob
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To: Doc Savage

And Gort mumbles, “Come on, Klaatu - there is no intelligent life here. Let’s go home.”


12 posted on 01/28/2012 5:58:25 PM PST by grobdriver (Proud Member, Party Of No! No Socialism - No Fascism - Nobama - No Way!)
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To: Grunthor

I’m with you.


13 posted on 01/28/2012 6:04:58 PM PST by TwoSwords (Romney is Crassus. Newt is Parthian.)
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To: Doc Savage
We need more graphical content.


14 posted on 01/28/2012 6:10:34 PM PST by InterceptPoint (TIN)
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To: Doc Savage

15 posted on 01/28/2012 6:17:53 PM PST by reagan_fanatic (A communist is just a liberal in a hurry)
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To: Doc Savage
Get your button at Amazon, current price 1 cent.


16 posted on 01/28/2012 6:18:16 PM PST by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: Doc Savage
i should prolly stop at the local S-mart on the way home...


17 posted on 01/28/2012 6:44:41 PM PST by sten (fighting tyranny never goes out of style)
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To: smokingfrog

Juan McCain was already neutered, in 2008.


18 posted on 01/28/2012 6:46:38 PM PST by The_Media_never_lie
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To: Doc Savage

Three of Jabba’s skiff guards?


19 posted on 01/28/2012 6:48:48 PM PST by Sybeck1 (Mitt Romney, a piss poor choice)
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To: Doc Savage
For some reason your memory-logs keep typing the name John McCain over and over. Apparently, this is where the GOP train went off the tracks.

Our emissaries from Kepler 22b may be technically advanced for space travel but their ability to use historical information to draw logical conclusions is seriously lacking, IMO. John McCain is a symptom, not a cause.

20 posted on 01/28/2012 7:14:53 PM PST by T-Bird45 (It feels like the seventies, and it shouldn't.)
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