I too will be spending both Christmas Eve and Day...alone except for my animals.
When I was a kid, Christmas was not a day of “Merry.” Even as I have aged fond memories are hard to find, but I do recall literally praying for this very thing. A quiet Christmas. A Christmas not filled with shouting, screaming, beer bottles flying, sirens or police and arrests.
And so last night, like many in my adult life, was spent listening to the radio-land stories of other people's Merry Christmas. Christmas stories I don't relate to at all.
I started the evening feeling a bit forlorn and melancholy at having nowhere to be and in many ways...not wanted anywhere. This year not a single person in my life even bothered to ask. I would have still said, “No thank you.” But, at least I would have the "gift" of being validated as even existing, being thought of, and maybe even being missed.
And so today will be long and silent too. I have a few pets I am “sitting,” that will greet me with tailwags and high fours several times today, but contact with another human being will not happen.
Last night as I prayed, I did ask God how I got to this Christmas place and was reminded it was something prayed for long ago. And considering what my Christmas memories are and my Christmas today, the calm, the peace, the quiet is my gift.
EBH,
I am sure several churches within short driving distance are holding services this morning. Why not drop in? Most churches are more casual on Christmas and the services tend to be a little shorter.
A word from God, and a sincere “Merry Christmas!” from (and to) a stranger can do wonders for your spirit. It may also begin a process of healing for a rocky start in life.
My hope is that this is a short rough patch for you, and that God will overwhelm you with friendships and the blessings of vital relationships very soon.
God bless you and have a very Merry Christmas.