Sounds like he’s got some bad influencers in his life. Just dang. It’s tough enough being a teen w/o having to follow along with thugs like that.
I pray that all will work out well for him (and all of you) and that this will be the wake up call that he needs.
For recruiting enlisted just 2 short years ago the Army was handing out “moral waivers” left and right —this covered exactly the type of behavior you cite your son has unfortunately having committed.
Recently recruiting goals are WAY easier to meet, and so moral waivers are much harder to come by (same thing for tatoos).
I can’t say they’re NEVER given, only that it’s now considerably harder to get theme.
Anyone else know?
PS —U seem like a really great person. I’m praying 4u. And him.
I have a 17 year old son also. I’ll definitely be saying a prayer for you.
I think kids domreally stupid things at this age.
At my son’s Christian school, 25 seniors just got suspended. One of them was house sitting at a neighbors, and she had a huge party. They caused thousands of dollars of damage. There was drugs and alchohol. One of them took a freshman girl who then had sex with one of the senior guys.
Then, they all posted about it with pictures on Facebook.
Il pray that everything turns out ok for your son.
Hang in there, Mom—you’re doing the best you can.
Pray—and I’ll be praying with you.
With his good upbringing, he will fall back on that someday.
Prayers for all of you. Kids will put you through the wringer won’t they?
I can only suggest what I would in your situation.
I’d take him to the poor side of town to show all the down and outs. Many of them also had various dreams and goals that went sideways because they were stupid in their youth.
It might help to walk the straight line, if he realizes that he could be one of them if he doesn’t smarten up.
Thats because YOU were supervising them. Whenever I hear about a supposed hanging out at a friends house I get nervous. There are only a very select few people that I trust to supervise my children.
Either way, whats done is whats done. You live and you learn.
Is your son genuinely remorseful or just remorseful because he got caught?
Upset, disillusioned, and bitterly disappointed? Sure. I don't blame you.
It was his choice, despite being taught better, and it sounds as if this was out of character.
His actions and behaviour will tell you how much, and all 'friend loyalty' aside, I pray he realizes that what he did was wrong.
Of course, you both have my prayers that he will learn from this without the lifelong destruction it can wreak on him, and will never repeat this sort of behaviour. And you have my prayers that God will help you handle the stress associated with the situation gracefully, as He wills.
Father, Pour your joyful peace into this womans heart at this moment. Let your goodness pass in front of her, allow full restoration of faith, hope and love fall over her, and her son like a divine covering. You promised that no one can be snatched from your hand, I ask in Jesus name that all Soul ties with this life be broken, that those ends be restored in purity and love in you in Jesus name. Thank you for doing that now. I ask for mercy for this young man and he is able to fully forgive the people that have hurt him in his life so that he can receive your forgiveness. Thank you for doing that in an amazing way, in Jesus name.
i have no answers but i will pray for you and your son... Prayers up
If I was fairly punished for the stupidest things I did (and got away with, for the most part) in my younger years, I’d have been dead or in jail before I was 30.
There but by the grace of God...
There is still a good chance that he can get his record expunged. The military might still be an option. I pray that you can navigate these rapids and get to smooth water again. His life could still be turned around. Many have done far, far worse, and have gone on to grow up, mature, and become fine men.
I think most FReepers are honored that you chose the advice
of the real Americans that make up FreeRepublic.
That being said, there is no simple solution.
My only advice is that you seek out the very best Lawyer
that deals in juvenile crime.
Do not rely on a GP lawyer.
I once knew a lawyer, later became a judge, in west Tennessee that was so good, he could have walked Oswald.
Some of these lawyers have unbelievable success.
Not everyone learns things the same way. Sometimes they need to learn things through adversity because a gentler approach would have no effect with them - even though it might with another type of person.
I pray whatever he has to face gets him back on the right track and that he learns the lessons God is attempting to get him to learn at this point in his life.
Prayers that everything turns out OK.
Many of us have experienced similar distress, yet parents are essential in the lives of their children. The work of God and of parents is often done in difficult or near impossible conditions.
I was a scheming kid at that age. I just didn't get caught. Smoking dope, drinking, pulling weird heists and drag racing. One of my buddies had a cavalier that was set up to turn off certain lights on the car for such activities. We were nerds. There is no reason to lose faith in your son. I was even an Eagle Scout. If you see remorse in your sons eyes, he will be alright. This will be just a lesson learned about the way things work in a civilized society and what ever punishment he gets is an education. He is young and I am sure it will set in. Did you think about talking with the property owner to make amends and keep the cops/law out of it? Not pressing charges? Maybe the kid can work off the damage. That is what happened in my day.
Praying for your son, and for wisdom for you and your ex.
OK,I normally don’t reply much in less I’ve got some experience. 1. You are lucky, I think, that the kid is under 18; very lucky. 2. Get the best attorney you can afford. Make your child understand that he will have to pay you back. Sounds like you are on the right path. You have my prayers.
Having raised boys nothing surprises me any more. If this is his first run in, and he convinces the judge with help from character refs it should blow over. If he has a car sell it. At least he’s not 18.
As someone mentioned the waivers are fewer, but if you get the ex marine scout master and the jrotc leaders (typically also retired service) to agree they can talk to the recruiter and help out. Used to be you got 3 pay grades for 4 years of jrotc if you enlisted. May be a negotiating tool also. The priors lespecially the jrotc guys likely already know the recruiters in the area well.
For the restitution he may want to volunteer to work off whatever he can’t return or pay. Again the men in his life might be willing to help talk with the victim to see if that is feasible. Let him know upfront it will help with his chances to enlist - besides it will be a prelim to basic hell have to work like a dog and remain contrite no matter what the victim says...5 basic responses 1) yes sir/ma’am 2) no sir/ma’am 3) aye aye sir/ma’am (I understand and will comply) 4) the correct answer to an inquiry or 5) I’ll find out sir/ma’am. Anything else will have his mouth getting him on trouble.
Most important he must start now fulfilling all his requirements for grad - if that means begging teachers or counselors to help him then that is what he needs to do the moral waiver doesn’t help him without the entry ticket. If he needs help to go the GED route there are many places to get assistance.
If he wants to wear the uniform he must step up and show he deserves the honor. If things don’t go well short term keep him heading toward the diploma/GED and have him stay in contact with the recruiter. Eventually the persistence will pay off.
Let us know how things turn out.
Ohh almost forgot Go Navy - Beat Army
USNA ‘89