Rick: "Conservatives should love me, Ron !"
Ron: "Well, they don't."
Rick: "But why ? I've given them so much. I turned Texas into paradise. I gave their daughters Gardasil... created millions of jobs for Mexica-, uh, citizens. Hell, I've suggested we secede from Washington Dee Cee ! What more do they want ?"
Ron: "I think they don't like your calling them heartless on illegals."
Rick: "That's silly. We can't deport them all. Besides, who would tend my lawn and clean my pool ? Who would change YOUR diapers, Ron ?"
Ron: "Oh, I got a Filipino to do that. He's legal."