Posted on 08/29/2011 7:18:08 AM PDT by Jewbacca
Jewish couple delivers a boy in the hospital...everyone is AMAZED...BIGGEST baby they've ever seen...weighs in at 20 lbs.
for Next week, they all come back to the hospital for a check-up. Nurse weighs the baby..then yells excitedly..."WHAT HAPPENED? HE WEIGHS 12 LBS NOW"
Dad: "no big deal...we just had him circumsized.."
"EVERYTHING'S BIGGER IN TEXAS"!!!!
Mark
Do not complain until she gets both family cars with on accident.
I think most couples are going to have some relative who always scowls and acts like you are terrible and can’t do anything right.
Mostly have nothing to do with you, they just need something to be judgemental and grumpy about.
Sorry - but this thread is hysterical!
lol...
I had some trysts with Jewish gals in New York..and no they are not any freakier or more promiscuous
they loved my southerness and manners
but...man...some were bossy
I am just not used to that...in my generation southern women used more subtle talents
but God love em...they had great hair..and rarely flat chested
underneath a strong willed Jewish gal is a need to be...secured by a strong man...but they lord they hate to admit it
I think different cultures more often than not gravitate to their own...the familiarity
last Jewish woman I maintained strong ties from the old days cut off communication with me after 2004 when she told me she voted for Israel and to curtail Christians..(GOP conservatives) power here in USA...her a lawyer...Miami...I really liked her too btw
but I thought ...damn girl.....this country is far and away the best Jews have ever had it anywhere and what precise rights of your’s aside from baby killing are they angling for?
it was chilling last conversation..sad really..smart and vivacious gal
/Jewish gal rant
btw...my ex is Leb-Brasilian
you made the right choice trust me
“I KILL YOU!!!!!!”
..i can still hear her Bedouin ranting over jealousy..whew..scary with a steak knife in her hand believe me
Ok. I thought that might be what happened, but I was feeling silly and couldn’t resist ;)
Amateur. I’ve been married twice ... first wife didn’t know all the tricks so I had to find a second one t complete my education in what a woman is really like to live with. I live with two cats an an occasional stray now ... stray cat, in case your mind wanders.
Very clever.
I’ll probably just post a lot so this disappears.
When I was eighteen, I came home from college for a weekend in October. I wrecked my Dads F150, my mother’s car, and dropped the starter in my sister’s car. That same night, my brother hit a drunk laying in the middle of the road.
It is amazing that my parents did not kill me. Or themselves.
Yes, I offerred it as either amusement or an object lesson.
Like a case study in engineering class.
What could be done to prevent this?
Ouch, one hell of a weekend.
I never repeat gossip so listen close the first time...sign hanging in my bathroom...
Me? I married a shiksa: one crazy, hyper-emotional family was enough to deal with (my Jewish side, naturally). I dated a number of Jewish girls when I was younger, but it never really worked out and besides, the thought of two crazy, loud, garrulous families thrown together during the High Holy Days was always a bit much to bear.
My wife is from the Midwest and a congregational church member. In her family, they never raise their voices. Of course, their emotions sometimes get repressed into tight little balls of rage until everyone's quietly drinking or on Prozac. In my family, it's all out there in the open: the hysterical laughter, the cursing, the hollering... and you know what? They're still all on anti-anxiety medications. I invest in pharmaceutical companies in part based upon the knowledge that my extended family is helping to make them successful.
I'm the "quiet one" in the family (snort), and also the only Republican. I tell myself that's not a coincidence. Besides, I prefer the distilled agricultural produce of Scotland and Russia to anything pharmaceutical. Frankly, I doubt my liver can tell the difference.
Friend, I wish you all the best. Stay strong and don’t let them steal your happiness!
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