[OneVike]

You might be a redneck if.....

• A full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
  
  
• A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of improvement.
  
  
• After making love, you ask your date to roll down the window.
  
  
• After your dog passed gas, you claimed it.
  
  
• All of your four-letter words are two syllables.
  
  
• An expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall. Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash.
  
  
• At least one of your kids was born on a pool table. Bikers back down from your momma.
  
  
• Birds are attracted to your beard.

[wjcsux]

-Your wife asks you to move the transmission so she can take a bath.