We have about the same recipe or guesstimate for making chili, except that I have used all different kinds of beans, depending on what I had in the cupboard: chili, pinto, kidney, black, small red, and more. I actually like to get Carrol Shelby Chili seasoning the best, because it comes with a packet of masa flour to thicken the chili with in the end. I haven’t been able to find masa flour, at the grocery stores here, so if I don’t buy the Carrol Shelby seasoning, I have to use a different thickener and the chili doesn’t taste quite the same to me without it, although spelt flour is a close second to the masa flour. I sometimes add diced green, yellow, or red pepper to my chili as well for a change of pace.
I did not like the sour taste of beans with vinegar either. Most people I know that do like it, add it at the end of the cooking time as a flavor enhancer. Some people claim that it also helps to get rid of the gas in the beans, but I have also heard that the claim is hogwash. I am certainly not going to try it, since I didn’t like the vinegar taste in my mother in law’s beans at all. Her beans never tasted fully cooked to me, even though she would presoak them and cook them for far longer than I have ever had to cook my beans. I suspect that her use of vinegar and or salt too soon in the cooking process, may be the reason my husband thought black beans were bitter and too hard a bean for his liking. He did comment that the black beans in my chili last week did not seem bitter or hard and I used a can of black beans, since I had them in my pantry.
He only would eat pinto beans or navy beans and baked beans when we were first married, but by that point in time my mother in law was using only canned beans, so the beans were already soft when she cooked them.
I was taught by my mother that you should never add salt or an acid like vinegar, citrus juice, or tomatoes to your beans or lentils until after they are soft because it inhibits and slows the cooking process, and can actually prevent your beans from ever getting completely soft, no matter how long you cook them. I know from experience after getting stuck with undercooked beans or lentils, that adding salt or tomatoes can stop the cooking process. I neglected to follow my mother’s cooking rules a few times, by trying to speed up the bean preparation by adding ingredients too soon in the cooking process, or following a new recipe that didn’t follow her rules. I guess some of us like myself have to learn the hard way, what not to do. I now fully admit, my mother was right! LOL! Fortunately, I learned that lesson before I even dated my husband! LOL!
Through the years I have been able to expand my husband’s palate to include vegetables such as zucchini, raw broccoli and sometimes very lightly sauteed or steamed, raw cauliflower (with dip only) or cooked Au Gratin style, and cabbage cooked any way; legumes including just about everything but black beans; grains such as barley, bulgar wheat, brown rice, cous cous, and ocassionally fried polenta; and much more. I am still working on black beans, dark greens such as spinach, swiss chard, etc., and some kinds of seafood, but I hope to someday get him to like those foods too!
We do not eat beans every day, but we do have them more frequently now because they are budget friendly and add additional protein to a meal, so I can sometimes get by with less meat per person. This is especially true with soups. Since meat is usually the most expensive part of any meal, by adding other cheaper proteins such as eggs and legumes I can reduce the meat in it and thus the over all cost of the meal, but still have a well balanced meal for my family.
You are fortunate to have learned some rules from your mother about cooking. A book of cooking "rules" like that would be a great help to beginner and intermediate cooks everywhere, I'm sure. There may be such a book, I don't know. Maybe you could write one yourself!
I never seem to find anything worthwhile at yard sales and have quit stopping at them. My wife has required me to also stop shopping antique stores because I have too much stuff already.