Rapture is lowercase. The industry style book is Hudson’s The Christian Writer’s Manual of Style primarily for books in the Christian market. The writer has an extensive list of theological words and terms showing whether to cap or lowercase.
Now back to the thread.
IBTA!!! (In Before The Apocalypse) XD
Actual Headlines
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Stud Tires Out
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
Eye Drops off Shelf
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Shot Off Woman’s Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Deer Kill 17,000
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Air Head Fired
Steals Clock, Faces Time
Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
Include your Children when Baking Cookies
Paradise by the Dashboard lights
Meatloaf
There’s a knock at the door.
The bloke goes and opens it and there’s 2 police men standing there and one holds up a picture of a woman.
“Is this your wife sir?”
The bloke say’s “Yes, that’s her”
“We’re sorry sir but it looks like she’s been hit by a bus”
“Yes I know, but she’s got a wonderful personality”
_____
Best Cop Contest
In an effort to determine the top crime fighting agency in the country, the
President narrowed the field to three finalists, the CIA, the FBI, and
the Chicago Police Dept. The three remaining contenders were given the
task of catching a rabbit which was released into the forest.
The FBI went into the forest. They placed animal informants throughout. They
questioned all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive
investigation they concluded that rabbits do not exist.
The CIA went into the forest. After two weeks without a capture, they
burned the forest killing everything in it, including the rabbit. They made no
apologies. The rabbit deserved it.
The Chicago Police went into the forest. They came out two hours later
with a badly beaten bear. The bear was yelling “Okay, Okay, I’m a friggin’
rabbit, I’m a friggin’ rabbit!”
_____
Subject: A taxpayer’s prayer
Obama is the shepherd I did not want.
He leadeth me beside the still factories.
He restoreth my faith in the Republican party.
He guideth me in the path of unemployment for his party’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the bread line,
I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me.
He has anointed my income with taxes, my expenses runneth over.
Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will live in a mortgaged home forever.
I’m glad … I am American, I am glad … that I am free,
But I wish … I was a dog, and Obama … was a tree!
author unknown
Subject: FW: Five year old Granddaughter
This is one of the funniest ones I’ve seen in a long time.
I was eating lunch on the 20th of February with my 5-year-old granddaughter and I asked her, “What day is tomorrow?”
She said “It’s President’s Day!”
She is a smart kid. So, I asked “What does President’s Day mean?” I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln ... etc.
She replied, “President’s Day is when President Obama steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of unemployment.”
You know, it hurts when coffee spurts out your nose...
"I’m still here. Did I miss the rapture? If so I’ll be curious to see who’s at church in the morning. Our pastor just went on vacation so maybe he knew something ...