Posted on 05/20/2011 8:31:24 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
I’m not going to lie to you guys but doing this research was less fun and more confusing. Confusing because most of the infallible proof that they had revolved around numbers. Numbers, it seems to me, that were just made up to prove fact. Essentially it’s around the same logic as this:
My name has five letters.
There are four seasons.
5-4=1
1 is the purest number.
Therefore I am the second coming of Christ.
Alright, it might not be that crazy, but it’s almost there. And keep your panties on people, I do not believe that I’m the second coming of Christ. Although I do think that turning water into wine would be awesome. Would it be a fine full bodied Merlot or a crisp Riesling?
Alright, so the actual numbers. Keep in mind the numbers that they start off with are all kind of made up- they argue that they got these numbers because God wanted them to receive them around now. 7! Oh sorry, did I startle you? God was just sending me a number.
According to the ambassadors, they have discovered that the great flood that Noah had to deal with was 4990 B.C. In the Bible it also said that God told Noah that he had seven days before the great flood.
Elsewhere in the Bible (2 Peter 3:8) one day to God equals 7000 years to us. Which was really the whole defense of the Scopes trial and led to some sweet monologin’ in Inherit the Wind.
OK, so 7000 years after 4990 B.C. is 2011. Then if you add in the leap years and what not it rounds up to May 21st, 2011. Or something.
So their other proof is going up from the exact date of the crucifixtion, which according to them is April 1st, 33 A.D. Was that the first April Fools Day joke? ‘Cause in that case, April Fools should technically be April 3rd, because everyone was all like “Christ is dead!” and then He was all like “No I ain’t B*tches! April Fools!” I don’t care if you just found that blasphemous. Jesus Christ playing pranks is hilarious. "You're blind! April Fools! Now you can see! LOLz, guys!"
Back to the numbers. After April 1st, 33 A.D. there are 722,500 days until May 21st. Why is the number 722,500 important? It isn’t! Yay arbitration!
To the folks at Family Radio, the number 722,500 is represented by the equation 5x10x17x5x10x17, which are symbolic numbers. 5 means atonement, 10 means completeness and 17 means heaven. And then you do that twice? Hey, why not!
Then there’s the theory that between April 1st, 33 A.D. and April 1st 2011 is 1,978 years. Then you multiply that by the number of days in a solar year (365.2422 days) and then add 51 days (because that’s how many days are between April 1st and May 21st) and you get 722,500. INDISPUTABLE EVIDENCE, PEOPLE!
So anyway, that's the proof that the Bible tells you. In any case, there's still a chance we're all doomed on Saturday (or at least 2012 for that matter - it's totally going to happen). So there's only one question left to ask.
What would you listen to as humanity came to an end? Hard rock? Classical? Something on the lighter side?
Here's a list of ideas (list yours below):
1. Tchaikovsky, 1812 Overture (Finale)
2. R.E.M. - It's The End Of The World
3. Paula Cole - I Don't Want To Wait (Dawson's Creek Opening Titles)
4. Europe - The Final Countdown
5. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Death Is Not The End
6. Aerosmith - I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing (From Armageddon)
7. Rolling Stones - Gimme Shelter
8. Metallica - Four Horsemen
9. The Doors - The End
10. Van Halen - Runnin' With The Devil
11. AC/DC- Highway To Hell Music
12. Skeeter Davis - The End Of The World
13. U2 - Until The End Of The World
14. Muse - Apocalypse Please
15. Elvis Costello - Waiting For The End Of The World
16. Morrissey - Everyday Is Like Sunday
17. Talking Heads - Nothin' But Flowers
18. Bright Eyes - Four Winds
19. Prince - 1999
20. The Clash - London Calling
21. Britney Spears - Till The World Ends
I saw a fundamentalist Muslim extremist fall into the Rio Grand River this morning; he was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he was carrying.
Along with him was an illegal Hispanic drug cartel member who was also struggling to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs that was strapped to his back.
If they didn’t get help, they’d surely drown.
Being a responsible Texan and abiding by the law to help those in distress, I informed the El Paso County Sheriff ‘s Office and Homeland Security.
It is now 4pm, both have drowned, and neither authority has responded.
I’m starting to think I wasted two stamps.
My favorite:
Subject: A taxpayer’s prayer
Obama is the shepherd I did not want.
He leadeth me beside the still factories.
He restoreth my faith in the Republican party.
He guideth me in the path of unemployment for his party’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the bread line,
I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me.
He has anointed my income with taxes, my expenses runneth over.
Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will live in a mortgaged home forever.
I’m glad … I am American, I am glad … that I am free,
But I wish … I was a dog, and Obama … was a tree!
author unknown
Subject: FW: Five year old Granddaughter
This is one of the funniest ones I’ve seen in a long time.
I was eating lunch on the 20th of February with my 5-year-old granddaughter and I asked her, “What day is tomorrow?”
She said “It’s President’s Day!”
She is a smart kid. So, I asked “What does President’s Day mean?” I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln ... etc.
She replied, “President’s Day is when President Obama steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of unemployment.”
You know, it hurts when coffee spurts out your nose...
Guys?
We may be joking around on this thread, but...
Didja see Netanyahu just hand The Won his ass?
Obama was so pissed and dissed he just abruptly ended the conference.
I wouldn’t be all that surprised if our homeboy responded to the public dissing by nuking Israel,
In which case, joke’s on us, Camping got it right!
Wait, if we go back to the 1860 boarders, won't he be African?
Woopsie, forgot he probably already is!
NOTHING!... Thank you
No nully - the blatant ignorance of the 0bama did not escape me nor the predictions for tomorrow. Camping just fits into the picture by ENHANCING the mocking of the soon TRUE return of Christ (Camping is an amillennialist btw). Wish I could have seen Bibi rip 0bama a new one.
This weekend the Cubs are playing the Red Sox at Fenway for the first time since the 1918 World Series. That series went 6 games—first 3 at Comiskey (bigger than Wrigley), then the last 3 at Fenway. (Unusual...but because of travel restrictions, World War I)
Stephen King wrote (BEFORE the Red Sox won it all in 04 and 07) that someday the Red Sox and Cubs would meet again in the world series. They would split the first six games... “and on the eve of Game 7, the world will end”.
I would clean up 30 bales of of hay for $100,000 and even change the air filters!
#136 & #137 LOL!
#138 ? (I am not always smartest one in the room)
I used my dogs name & couldn’t stop laughing. Thanks for the link!!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.