Posted on 05/03/2011 5:22:49 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
To all those who question the usefulness of self-defense courses, I give you this alarming headline, from a report on sueddeutsche.de:
Joggerin nimmt Reh in den Schwitzkasten
To all those who question the usefulness of German classes: See above.
Okay, okay. Because I'm in a generous mood, here is that headline as rendered in English via Google Translate:
jogger taking deer in a headlock
All right, I can see you're still a bit puzzled. So here's the gist of the story from the English language German news site thelocal.de:
A jogger fought off a crazed, attacking deer by putting it in a headlock and scaring it off.
The 44-year-old woman was jogging in the Echinger Lohe nature reserve in Bavaria, when the deer suddenly attacked her from behind … .
Although she suffered minor injuries to her hands and thighs, she was still able to put the deer in a sweaty headlock, scaring it and forcing it to flee.
As a runner, should you be frightened? I say yes. For a nice tutorial on headlocks, click here; to get to know your enemy, I suggest this.
Meantime, rest assured that German officials are on top of this threat. The final line from Google Translate's version of the original article:
The competent shooting tenant was informed as a precaution.
Good to know.
A likely story.
How tolerant of you to speak German. It’s great that you’re multi-lingual.
Honest!
And I should believe you this time after what happened last time? Because...?
My cofee instructions don’t translate well into German, thus the deer couldn’t possibly be one of our coffee zombie deer?
Oh yeah? And your instructions also don’t include your dumping your coffee into my latte either, but still it happened.
[brrrraaaaaaiinnssss] [shamble shamble shamble] [urk!]
Dang it. It’s barely under control today. [urk!]
Somebody made a Latte out of that stuff?
And didn’t do it under contolled scientiic settings?
Umm... hmmm.
Any bouts of uncontrolled rage at cornfields, turkey, stop signs, and or scarecrows for no apparent reason?
No, just at you. Probably should stay away from me for a day or two until you GET ME THE ANTIDOTE, if you have to invent one.
[shamble]
Try some Constant Comment tea, brew for ten minutes, add three spoons of sugar.
Should be calming.
I’m diabetic. Will sucralose work? It has chloride in it.
I have Earl Grey and Plantation Mint but no Constant Comment.
Sigh... [brrrraaaaaaiiinnnnnsssss]
Didn’t know you were diabetic.
Dunno if sucrlose will work or not.
Earl Grey steeped for ten minutes ends up tasting like Ivory soap, so no that won’t work.
You’ll have to go grab some Bigelow Constant Comment at next chance.
(It has an orange citrus undertone flavoring, really pleasant stuff.)
If you can speak Internetz, you can speak ‘em all.
Help, Darks!
<serious>
I'm Type II, and blood sugar is well under control with diet and exercise, no drugs.
</serious>
If sucralose works in coffee without tasting like “Blargh”, then it might work in tea as well.
I don’t know, I have no experience with sucralose.
[aspartame, saccharine and such give me massive headaches.]
If you want to cut down on sugar, it might be worth it to risk a headache to try it. You can get it at netrition.com
Huh?
Talk about a useless thread ...
>>> If you can speak Internetz, you can speak ‘em all.
Though some better than others!
My headaches from “Nutrasweet” style stuff are not worth it.
I get migraine with aura from the stuff, the prismatic floating shapes would be nice if they didn’t come with blinding pain as well.
My hovercraft is full of eels!
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