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To: All

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it’s important that we keep mentally alert. The saying: “If you don’t use it, you will lose it” also applies to the brain.

Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. So take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or are still a MENSA candidate. OK, relax, clear your mind and . . . begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?

The answer is bread. If you said “toast,” then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, “bread,” go to question 2.

2. Say “silk” five times. Now spell “silk.” What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said “milk,” please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously overstressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with
reading something more appropriate such as “Children’s World”. If you said, “water” then proceed to question three.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said “green bricks”, what the heck are you still doing here reading these questions? If you said “glass,” then go on to question four.

4. Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane crashes smack in the middle of “no man’s land” between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors - East Germany or West Germany or in “no man’s land?”

Answer: You don’t, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, “Don’t bury the survivors” then proceed to the next question.

5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60th of a degree every minute then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?

Answer: One degree. If you said “360 degrees” or anything other than “one degree,” you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and
exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final question.

6. Without using a calculator — You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for heaven sake! It was YOU, Read the first line in paragraph 6!!!


2,637 posted on 05/31/2011 6:54:06 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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To: All

Church Bulletin Bloopers

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking
tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come
tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

“Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to
get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.
Don’t forget your husbands.”

Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers’.
Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome!
Everyone come for a fun time.

The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water”
The sermon tonight “Searching for Jesus”

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
They need all the help they can get.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors
for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping
and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.

Remember in prayer the many who are
sick of our community.

Don’t let worry kill you off-let the Church help.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on
October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship
that began in their school days.

For those of you who have children and don’t know it,
we have a nursery downstairs.

Please place your donation in the envelope along
with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM.-
prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of
every kind. They may be seen in the basement
on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the
park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and
come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10.
All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall
after the B.S. is done.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s
Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.
The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing
campaign slogan last Sunday:
“I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.”


2,640 posted on 05/31/2011 7:36:53 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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