Yes, I didn’t really understand the purpose of hospice until my Dad dealt with them. I suppose they have their place, but they are simply about death. It would be nice if there was a group that got as much funding and support that was to help people who are still trying to get well, but are probably terminal. Their families and they still need help. My Mom was a fighter, not a giver upper. She fought her cancer til the last moment. I think she probably helped someone else with her more rare type of cancer, in that she suffered thru some miserable trials (which didn’t work for her, but they learn in the process).
But as soon as hospice understood that she was still willing to take any treatment they said they could not help my Dad. It’s like they funnel you into the death machine when they are ready for you to go (and she was not elderly, she was only 67).
Like you said Hospice has its place...many family's cannot not deal with the type's of care someone needs. Or for some there is no family to care for them...Like with my mother, being a nurse was the only way I was able to care for all her needs. Indwelling catheter, paralysis from the waist down, incision breaking open from the cancer etc. etc. At one point having to replace her catheter because of blockage. Many things can come up near the end that makes it hard to homecare and some people do not want to put their loved one's through that.
Those that can care at home, I find most do it. I had seen in my time working at the hospital, familys that choose not to care for their parent. It's sad but I don't judge them, I don't know what kind of a life they led.
With some people they are not aware of all that is available to them for home care also...I had a hospital bed, special alternating air mattress to help in not getting bed sores, the lab came out once a week to check her blood platelets to see if she could start another round of chemo, there is also for bedridden, a physical therapist available to come in and give range of motion to all joints and help to keep muscles from atrophying. Most of this was paid for my her medicare, but I don't know if it still would be.
She also was 67 when she passed, my father was 85 (or 86) not too sure which, he had acute leukemia..sent into the hospital for the removal of a cancer in his transverse colon and the lab work pre-op picked up a problem that turned out to be the leukemia.