I see your decent joke, and raise you a groaner.
... A man was walking home alone late one night when he hears a BUMP...BUMP... BUMP... behind him. Walking faster he looks back, and makes out the image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him ...BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...
Terrified, the man begins to run towards his home, the coffin bouncing quickly behind him ...faster... faster... BUMP...BUMP...BUMP. He runs up to his door,fumbles with his keys, opens the door,rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the coffin crashes through his door, with the lid of the coffin clapping ...clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP...on the heals of the terrified man.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. With a loud CRASH the coffin breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping towards him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything ... but all he can find is a box of cough drops!
Desperate, he throws the cough drops at the coffin... .. and of course....
... the coffin stopped!
It’s not the cough that carries you off.
It’t the coffin they carry you off in.