Seacrest killing a lot of time.
Finally saw the rest of the show...for what it’s worth, here’s my thoughts:
Jacob - Oh no he didn’t! The self-righteous comments, the white suit, the song that would have been way more enjoyable but got scratched for “moral reasons”...if the Powers That Be had put up a sign behind him saying “Hate This Guy!” it couldn’t have done more to Jacob than he did to himself. If you wanna make the world a better place, start by sending Jacob home!
Haley - I have yet to hear a contemporary singer who can do Janis with the passion and intensity it was meant to be performed with. Haley did her best, but it’s hard to sing Blues when your only speed is Lounge.
Fozzy - When I heard the rumor that Casey and Haley were an item, I hoped some of his mojo would wear off on her. Sadly it seems to be working the other way around. Casey of all people should know how silly it sounds to add so much embellishment to an earthy CCR song. And WTF did Randy mean about making the upright bass cool again? Paging Brian Setzer, please pick up the white courtesy phone...
Lauren - You make me feel...you make me feel like I’m watching a pageant. Not bad, but nothing we haven’t heard before. A solid Meh. Side note - Gwen Stefani sucks as a stylist.
James - Of all the weeks for him to hit it out of the park, he decides to take a walk! It was okay, but I was too distracted by the gentle glow of light through his ears to remember much about the performance.
Scotty - Would have preferred “Heartbreak Hotel”, but I still liked it. Didn’t care for the “spontaneous” flock of girls at the end, but whatever.
Pia - Gwen Stefani’s clothing line must be designed to make every woman look worse than she does. What other reason is there for taking an attractive girl like Pia and making her look like a rodeo clown? Performance was good, but lacked that “wow” factor I was hoping to see from her tonight. Kudos for performing in that getup with a straight face, though.
Little Ricky - “When a Man Loves a Woman”...I guess he got it half right. He sounded scared to death out there.
Dr. Teeth - If Johnny were still alive, this might have been enough to finish him off. If Fulsom Prison inmates were forced to listen to this, Amnesty International would have them investigated for human rights violations. The first iTunes sale of this song will probably be to the Activities Director at Club Gitmo. Call me biased, but as a hardcore Cash fan dealing with a cranky baby all evening, this was the last thing I needed to hear tonight.
Glad to get that off my chest. See you all tomorrow!