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You channeling some dingbat leftist friend who worships some ridiculous, romanticised, wholly and divorced from reality, figment of their imagination?

I have been all over the world and listened to people like you who think anyplace is superior to America.

I don’t have all night to make my list of pro’s and con’s and I really want to believe you are drunk and imagining your life were as great as this friend you are channeling.

Let’s start with kicking ass. NO ONE does better and we can kick anyone’s ass, even if we have some limp wristed, feckless, foreigner sitting in our White House.

Hell, we like to kick ass.

Ice. I can’t stand europe in the summer. Why? Them chintzy bastuhds hold back on the ice to keep my drinks cold and then act all upity when I ask for more ice.

Size. In America everything is big. Our freaking egos, houses, apartments, autos, horsepower, our roads. Hell we more things bigger than anywhere and consume more things that are bigger.

Even our foot long hot dogs best their dinky little schnitzels.

Did I mention we have icemakers in our refrigerators?

We don’t have to go to damn store everyday to shop. Why? Costco, Sams, Safeway, Krogers and bigger apartments and homes with bigger refrigerators to store all that crap food we buy. Hell, we are such a great country we can afford to waste food.

Why? Sheesh! We’re Americans and we don’t have to eat everything we buy and when I eat out I hate them damn doggy bags. Why? I Got More Food At Home!

National Sovereignty. For now, we are independant of any country for our currency and foreign policy. Well for the last part we have an apologist in chief and thankfully we are going to replace that sissy with someone who knows who to carry a sword and by stature alone, let everyone know we are the baddest ass in the world and no one swings harder and with more grace than America.

Oh, back the National Sovereignty issue; Them euro weenies, in their vain lame attempt to compete with America, decided to organize all their people and have their sovereignty suborned to some vacuous and mysterious place in Brussels.

Damnit, it going to fail and fail spectactularly. Why? No one like Brussel Sprouts except Americans. We eat them.

How do we eat them? Well it’s more like eat their lunch. You see the euro was envisioned not as a competitive currency but as a replacement to the Almighty American Dollar.

Not gonna happen. Why? Because the baddest bird on the planet is our National Symbol and we print that tough azz bird on everything, because we think it’s cool.

And the American Eagle is Damn Cool. It kicks the Shiite out of anything it feels like and the euro was some weak idea by a bunch of countries that has looked to America and Her Azz Kicking Eagle to save their whiny “I don’t know what to do” lives.

Well America always knows what to do. We will kick someones azz for you and then pay to rebuild all those buildings that have apartments that are too small, with tiny little regrigerators and no ice maker,

If Norway, No way or any other country were so damn great how come the nation of old couldn’t be counted on to save some miners in Chile?

LOL, no, no, no. It was an American company to really tried hard to think up a way to help them and save their lives. We did it with the American Eagle watching to make sure the damn job got done.

Does Norway even have good booze? I can’t think of a thing they make I want. They don’t make Scotch. The don’t make whiskey.

Hell, America made and makes Rock and Roll. Show me an blonde haired Elvis.

Do they any foot balls teams and a superbowl with the best commercials? They have some fine women but they don’t have the Dallas Cheerleaders.

Do they have East Coast Girls? Nope.

Do they have them charming Southern Girls. Nope.

They damn sure don’t have California Girls or any decent place to surf.

How tall are the trees in Norway anyway? Oh, I know, they have maple trees. Big deal, so do the Canadians.

But them things are dwarfs compared to a sequoia and the mighty redwood trees.

Grand. WTF is Grand about Noway? We have the Grand Canyon, the Grand River and the magnificent Grand Torino. If you don’t agree, then “Get off my lawn!”.

Does Norway have anything like San Francisco? New York? Miami? Phhfft!

I could go on all night but we gave the world Coca Cola, Apple Pie and 7-11.

I want a Big Gulp with lots of Ice!

Norway’s a good country but America is a great country and there are no comparisons.

Are people risking their lives to immigrate to Norway and spend a lifetime in the shadows, in a covert sub-society because it’s better there than were they came from?

No you freakin loon! They want to come to America BECAUSE!!! America is better than anywhere they are coming from and America is better than anyplace I have ever been.