Posted on 03/18/2011 6:14:06 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
* Reprogram his teleprompters to automatically translate everything to Klingon.
* Replace all his spending bills with spending cuts. When he gets back he’ll be like, “What?! The deficit has gone down instead of up? Something as gone horribly wrong!”
* Replace the Democrat congressmen with people from the insane asylum and see how long it takes him to notice. “There’s Pelosi going on about people-faced spiders again. You tell those townhall protesters!”
* Schedule Biden for a primetime press conference. Don’t give him a teleprompter, but give him a few drinks and then tell him to speak off the cuff.
* Put rattlesnakes in all his desk drawers. He’ll be like, “Ow! A snakebite! I’ll just open this drawer to get the anti-venom… Aieee! Another snake! Enough is enough! I have had it with these wee-weed snakes on this wee-weed desk!”
* Invade a country while he’s gone. Man will he be surprised when he gets back!
* Instead of flying him back home, fly him to France and see how long it takes him to notice. “Wow, people are more accepting of my socialist positions than I thought!”
* Edit his Saul Alinksy’s Rules for Radicals book to include a rule that you should talk like a pirate.
* Don’t let him in the White House when he gets back telling him we found his Kenyan birth certificate which made McCain president who was so shocked that he immediately had a heart attack… so guess who’s president now!
* Swap the doors and windows again. That was hilarious the first time.
* Override Michelle’s Skynet programing so she adds Izzle to every word.
* Tell him we traded in Air Force One as part of cash for clunkers
* Have the CIA waterboard every Dem congressperson until they admit they are terrorists and Obama is the big Kahuna!
* If you translate his teleprompter to Klingon, he will think it’s all pillow talk and will answer ‘Yes, Elegant Mistress” to everything.
* Call him every morning at 3:00 am and ask him “Is your refrigerator running?”
* Hide a stained blue dress in the White House in a spot where Michelle is sure to find it. 
* Bring his ‘Auntie Z’, and his siblings to live at the White House. ‘Guess who’s coming to dinner!’
* Paint the White House a less racist color.
* Replace his mirrors with O-bah-muhh/Joker posters.
* Call him pretending to be Robert Gates and tell Barry you need him to immediately sign off on the supplemental Defense spending bill authorizing the purchase of 200 feet of flightline, a gallon of prop-wash, and a carton of grid squares.
* Set traps all over the White House, like over his chair in the oval office, to drop buckets on his head every time he says "Let me be clear".
* Call Obama and ask him to page your father at his next press conference…Jack Mehoff
* Remove all the zeros from all the keyboards in the White House.
* Replace all potted plants in the White house with poison ivy , poison oak , and other such plants 
* Lock the White House doors, then have a couple of cops waiting for him to ask questions once he gets in.
* Remove language from his health care “plan” that covers rashes from Olberman and Matthews leg humps.
* Replace Obama’s DVD collection with all region 2 discs
* Hillary in high-heeled boots, a whip and a topless pantsuit
* On the Oval Office desk, a gift-boxed ticking alarm clock with a tag that says “From: Bill Ayers”
* Fill all his head buckets with aragula * Replace teleprompter screens with mirrors so he spends his next entire press conference screaming “STOP STARING AT ME, FOUL DOPPLEGANGERS!”
* How about replace Hillary Clinton with Jimmy Carter as Secretary of State?
bflr
Just. Wow.
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“Pissant hates her as much as any liberal does.”
Really? I hadn’t noticed. ;)
Bicycle helmets are positively the lamest thing ever. And the fact that Obozo wears one makes it even more lame.
Um...you’re referring to this comment?
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2690220/posts?page=52#52
That’s what he got zotted for. Anyone who thinks it’s fair comment needs to lie down and rest for a couple of days.
No, really, it’s true! :-)
I know St. Paddy’s Day is already past, but how about an Irish joke anyway?
A couple Irishmen are out on the lake fishing. One of them hauls up a bottle on his line, and while he’s a little disappointed that it isn’t a fish, he’s feeling a little thirsty and decides to unscrew the cap to see what it contains. Out pops a genie.
“Since you have rescued me from the prison of the bottle,” the genie says, “I will grant you a wish.”
The fellow thinks for a moment, then says, “I wish this entire lake were filled with Guinness.”
The genie replies, “As you wish, so it will be done,” and the water in the lake turns to beer.
The other Irishman punches the first one in the arm and says, “You idiot! Now we’re gonna have to pee in the boat!”
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but it is only because she is not legal (only 16), in two years he will hit it.
Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint. Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement. The first patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week. The second sees his family doctor after waiting a week for an appointment,
then waits eighteen weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn’t reviewed for another month and finally has his surgery scheduled for a year from then.
Why the different treatment for the two patients?
The first is a Golden Retriever.
The second is a Senior Citizen.
The first is paid for in cash.
The second is paid for with a Government run insurance program.
You’re probably right. ;-)
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