$~$~THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD~$~$

[Lucky9teen]

Who said it: Charlie Sheen or Muamar Gaddafi? (select to see answer)

"The [ringleaders/network execs] are in their homes or they are abroad, comfortable, and having fun."
Answer:Muamar Gaddafi

"I'm dealing with fools and trolls. I'm dealing with soft targets."
Answer:Charlie Sheen

"I embarrassed him in front of his children and the world."
Answer: Charlie Sheen

"Respond to them, put them to shame."
Answer: Muamar Gaddafi

"If you love with violence and you hate with violence, there's nothing that can be questioned."
Answer: Charlie Sheen

"How can you justify such misbehavior from people who live in good neighborhoods?"
Answer: Muamar Gaddafi

"There's a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins."
Answer: Charlie Sheen

""All [African nations/network stars] look up to [Libya/me], all the [rulers of the world/aspiring actors] look up to [Libya/me]. [Protesters are/Chuck Lorre is] serving the devil."
Answer: Muamar Gaddafi

"They give them pills at night, they put hallucinatory pills in their drinks, their milk, their coffee, their Nescafe."
Answer: Muamar Gaddafi

"I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground."
Answer: Charlie Sheen

"Dance ... sing and get ready ... this is the spirit ... this is much better than the lies of the [Arab propaganda/network spin doctors]."
Answer: Muamar Gaddafi

"I am like the Queen of England."
Answer: Muamar Gaddafi

"Remember these are my people...not yours...we will continue on together..."
Answer: Charlie Sheen

"We will continue to fight. We will defeat them."
Answer: Muamar Gaddafi

"Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words -- imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists."
Answer: Charlie Sheen

"I'm not Thomas Jefferson. He was a p*ssy."
Answer: Charlie Sheen Charlie Sheen

FROM THIS:


TO THIS:

Top 10 Sheen Quotes

10. “I wish [Chuck Lorrie ]nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon.”

9. “I think it was Nails that said, and I was really flattered that he got it right, he might be Nails, but I’m bayonets. I’m battle tested bayonets…”

8. “I’m dealing with fools and trolls. I’m dealing with soft targets, and it’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee … they lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, ‘I can’t process it.’

7. “”Let me say this about the Goddesses, I don’t think the term is good enough, but when you’re bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the best term available. So if you think about it dude, I’m 0-for-3 in marriage, but like in baseball, the scoreboard doesn’t lie. Never has. So what we all have is a marriage of the hearts. And to sully, contaminate, or radically disrespect this unit with a shameful contract is something I’ll leave to the amateurs and bible grippers.”"

6. “Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words – imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.”

5. “”I have cleansed myself. I closed my eyes and in a nanosecond, I cured myself… It’s the work of sissies. The only thing I’m addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent.”

4. ‘Don’t be special, be one of us.’ Newsflash: I am special, and I will never be one of you!”

3. “Where there were four, there are now three. Good-bye, Brooke, and good luck in your travels; you’re going to need it. Badly … She’s not there now and we are and I don’t know, winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning? Anyone? Yeah, that would be us. Sorry man, didn’t make the rules. Oops.”"

2. “I don’t live in the middle anymore, thats where you get slaughtered, that’s where you get embarrassed in front of the prom queen and I just…it’s just not an option.”

1. “I’m so tired of pretending like my life isn’t just perfect and just winning every second, and I’m not just perfect and bi**hing and just delivering the goods at every frickin’ turn.”

FROM THIS:


TO THIS:

Top 10 Gaddafi Quotes

10. "There must be a world revolution which puts an end to all materialistic conditions hindering woman from performing her natural role in life and driving her to carry out man's duties in order to be equal in rights."

9. "The Libyan system is a system of the people and no one can go against the authority of the people. .. The people are free to choose the authority they see fit."

8. “There is no state with a democracy except Libya on the whole planet.”

7. "Democracy means permanent rule! (This is an Arabic play on words.)"

6. "Obeying your parents is more important than doing as your parents say."

5. "I will stay in Libya until I die, or until the end of the time God allows me to live!"

4. "Protest however you want, but do not go onto the streets and squares!"

3. "I am not such a dictator that I would shut down Facebook. I’ll merely imprison anyone who logs in to it."

2. "Were it not for electricity, we would have to watch television in the dark."

1. "A woman has the right to run for election whether she’s male or female!"







 

[ErnBatavia]

[BenLurkin]

oops

[llevrok]

mudpackers

[Mr. Silverback]

Woohoo! A day late but still silly!

MEMO

To: All cat lovers
From: A concerned friend
Subj: How to wash the cat

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet and remove the thing that makes the water blue.

2. Add an appropriate amount of shampoo, based upon the size of the cat, to the toilet water. Leave both lids up.

3. Retrieve the cat and soothe him/her as you carry him/her towards the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and immediately close both lids.

NOTE: You may need to stand on the lid.

CAUTION: Do not allow any part of your body to come too close to the edge of the toilet, as claws will be reaching for anything they can find.

5. Wait while the cat self-agitates, making ample suds.
NOTE: Disregard the noises coming from your toilet. The cat does actually enjoy this.

6. Flush the toilet three or four times to provide a “power-wash” and “rinse,” which is quite effective.

7. Have someone open a door to the outside and ensure that there are no people or other living things between the toilet and the outside world.

8. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids. Consider using a towel or belt from a bathrobe to lift the lids. (See “CAUTION” on item number 4.)

9. The cat will fly from the toilet, and run outside where he will thoroughly dry himself with no further assistance.

Good luck. This really does work!

Sincerely,

The Dog

[Mr. Silverback]

That video is buckets of win.

[Mr. Silverback]

BTW, these days Ol’ Moammar looks like Lionel Richie became homelessand then later became a zombie.

[M Kehoe]

LOL.

5.56mm