[Dubya]

Baby Goat and German Shepherd Snuggle Up
A shy German Shepherd warms up to a baby goat.

A three-year-old German Shepherd named Foxy gets cozy with Munchie, a seven-week-old baby goat, March 23, 2011. The animals' owner, Nancy Osuna of Montabello, Calif., said Foxy is usually very shy, but quickly took Munchie under her wing. The pair met just five days ago, but already sleep together, play together and follow each other around. (Courtesy Nancy Osuna )

[Diver Dave]

...from an e-mail...

Dog For Sale------Free to good home.
Excellent guard dog.
Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat.
Most of them knew Jethro only by his Chinese Street name, Ho Lee Schitt.

[Dubya]

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, ‘Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.’

‘Oh yeah?’ said Charlie , ‘And how did this one end?’

‘When it was over,’ Mike replied, ‘She came to me on her hands and knees.’

‘Really,’ said Charles , ‘Now that’s a switch! What did she say?’

She said, ‘Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.’