Well, I guess I’m a secretary. I take care of a gang of graduate students and am the only “staff” person there. I make the coffee for everyone, have for 25 years. The new boss didn’t seem to mind the coffee the first year, but suddenly he tries to beat me to the coffee maker to get his own, or hides his cup and I have to ask for it. It’s obvious someone has told him it’s not a good thing to let me get him coffee in the morning.
Then stop doing it! What's the problem?
If he's this touchy, I wouldn't show up topless, either.
“let me get him coffee in the morning.”
Wives no longer appreciate this behavior
Sounds like you make bad coffee. Maybe too strong or too weak?
He's afraid of being accused of sexual discrimination.
Asking a secretary to get coffee is a hot button for feminists. Someone else in the building probably reported it to your boss' boss--"Did you know he's making his secretary bring him coffee?" Your boss got called in and read the sexual discrimination riot act.
A lot of women don't realize the mine-field men have had to negotiate. Do you open the door for a woman or not? Do you compliment her or not? Do you make an off color joke or not? Do you help someone--what, you think I can't do it because I'm a woman--or not?
Stop getting him coffee.
Whatever his reason is, you should respect it. In today’s current lawsuit crazy environment, who knows what anyone is going to sue for next?
He may be the nicest guy in the world, but what if some freaky liberal type claims that his accepting your coffee service is intimidating and thus creates a hostile working environment?
Don’t laugh! It could have been something just like that.
“he tries to beat me to the coffee maker to get his own, or hides his cup and I have to ask for it”
What does he have to do, hit you over the head with a 2 x 4?
STOP, repeat STOP giving him coffee. He made it very clear he doesn’t want you to do it.
The reasons can be many, one of which could be people gossiping about possible relationship between him and you (regardless whether you are female or male).
Your intentions may be pure, but you know where the road with good intentions leads.
The fact that you say you have to “ask for it”, after he hides his cup, shows you are overly aggressive, almost obsessive about it.
For everyone’s sake, including for the sake of your boss and your own, STOP giving him coffee.
This may sound a harsh assessment and advice, but this is how it looks to an unbiased outside observer.
There's your answer.
Has there been any hostility between the 2 of you? Maybe he thinks you are going to put something in it other than a little cream or he just doesn’t like the way you fix it.
The problem might be that he does not want to allow the appearance of sexism (demanding the secretary fetch you coffee) regardless of whether it’s your idea in the first place. Maybe he just finished his mandatory “harassment in the workplace” seminar and is a bit skittish.