Posted on 01/12/2011 10:24:44 AM PST by mojito
A certain essay appeared in the Wall Street Journal last Saturday, titled “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior,” to which one excerpted reaction from the Journal community itself was “I am in disbelief after reading this article.” The author is a Chinese mother, Amy Chua, a professor of law at Yale perhaps best known for writing the New York Times bestseller World on Fire.
The essay affirms that stereotypical Chinese parenting produces stereotypical cases of success for the children raised in that fashion — impeccable grade reports, precocious competence in the violin and piano (but mind you, those instruments and no other!), and fortitude of mind in the child to boot — and it explains how all this can be achieved by drawing on representative episodes from the author’s own experience as a Chinese mother. The most instructive and blood-chilling of these is the story of how little Lulu, Chua’s youngest daughter, was compelled to learn, just in time for her piano recital, how to play “The Little White Donkey”
(Excerpt) Read more at commentarymagazine.com ...
they are only allowed one child. Of course they are going to be better. they were a suppressed economy that is now booming and they are taking OUR PLACE. They are equal to the US during the 40’s into the 50’s probably stay at home moms.
That’s a good observation. Ms. Chua chose to label her style of child-rearing as “Chinese” in the same way that some label a certain type of culture as “Black.” Those who fit the racial label but don’t follow the writer’s ideology are “not really” Chinese or Black.
I’m predisposed to think Ms. Chua is a dreadful person *because* she’s a Yale law professor, while she probably considers that a highly praiseworthy accomplishment. Different worlds ...
Are you saying that conservatives should not consider starving and threatening a child to be acts of child abuse?
I thought she was really trying to push people's buttons with the article to be provocative. I assumed when I read it; that she was probably deliberately going over the top with her writing.
It's funny to see the reaction!
Is that clear enough?
Fee,
You make a good point on behalf of classical education. However, Ms. Chua seems to repeat to some degree the actions of her own mother. As a person of Chinese descent, I would say learning a musical instrument was part of my “classical education.” Although I eventually got to district semi-finals, my parents saw music lessons as a way of keeping my mind and hands busy with no expectation of me becoming a concert pianist.
My parents thought a lot of my elementary education was not challenging enough so they sent me to a college prep school, where getting into trouble was difficult since I had athletic and academic education added to music. They could see the strain on me and allowed me to quit piano and relax with mystery novels.
I really appreciate the discipline and moral values that my parents instilled in me. They have made me a better person, who appreciates and expects real achievement in others.
I hate that term. It is a created term by those who want to destroy the family unit and remove any parental influence from their kids.
Parents should involved with their kids lives and decision making; in a healthy relationship.
Who better to give advice to a 19 or 22 year old than a parent?
Colleges hate any parental involvement because the colleges want to control the relationship with the kids
Parental discipline is one thing, but the tactics described in this article go far beyond “discipline”. Chua did not simply put her daughter on a time-out, or swat her on the behind for misbehaving. She withheld food, water, sleep, and toilet privileges. She threatened her child with physical harm. Unless you are claiming that such tactics are appropriate forms of “parental discipline”, then your statement does not apply.
I’m sorry if the term obscured my point.
By “helicopter parents”, I was referring to those parents who refused to allow their children time or freedom to make their own decisions. I have watched the children from such families go crazy once they were out of their parents’ sight, because the only control they had was external, not internal.
Parental involvement is different from constant hovering.
If China parent su good, why China farl into decrine for five hunred year?
Round eye peeprl from aal over worl, kick China aroun for make China a fool.
Haha, then we make Mao. Mao kill many bad China peeprl and make China grate agin.
See! China peeprl are more smart thand round eyes.
Watch out Untied Stats of America!!
Those ‘tactics’ as you liberals describe them are absolutely acceptable forms of parental discipline, and you should learn how to mind your own business when it comes to how other people raise their own children.
Unfortunately the Chua article does a disservice to all Chinese Americans. The key to Asian success is the understanding that education is very important. Talk to a Chinese immigrant, this is the common theme no matter if the immigrant is working in a Chinatown garment factory or upper middle class professional. Second is the parents once they determine they do not have an opportunity to go to school immediately make the decision to dedicate the rest of their working life to make sure their children have that opportunity to go to school. They do not get bitter, and wallow in self pity and drink/drug themselves to oblivion, but possess the value of sacrificing for the next generation. You will be surprise how many immigrant parents end up qualifying for welfare after they empty most of their savings so their kids can go to college and graduate, because they don’t want the next generation to begin life burdened by college debt.
Many Chinese parents “do not expect but hope” (if people understand the Chinese language, this is a very emotionally powerful saying) their children understand their dreams. Most Chinese kids do understand and react accordingly. They are smart enough to look at a magazine showing a college educated professional in a nice office and see their parents come home late at night slaving in some Chinatown store or factory. Even the ones who do not have perfect parents.
Example, one guy told me he had a father who gambled most of his pay. When he went to college he had to work when most of his fellow high school classmates when to college and concentrated on studying. When he got angry about it his mother pointed out despite his father’s shortcoming he always made sure his family had a roof over their heads, shoes on his feet, clothing on his back and food in his stomach. He was not a perfect father, but he was his father. His father in the later years lamented that if he had not gambled maybe his son could have gone to a more prestiges school or had better grades if he did not have to work while in college. He assured his father that he has forgiven him long ago and not to worry about it.
The other thing missing in the Chua article is most young Chinese kids are only separated by two generations that have survived the deprivations of war, civil war and social chaos of China. If parents cannot make an impression, believe me, grandparents can make an impression on how fortunate these young kids are being in the US a land of opportunity. This is what is missing in the Chua article. It is not the method but the philosophy, generational experience and a value system developed from this experience that creates the success. Just like the US which has a unique experience in fostering freedom, individualism and innovation, the Chinese also has a unique historical experience that creates a value system that allows them to be successful.
Americans also had similar values of being frugal, self reliance, save during times of feast for times of famine (Europeans of the 19th Century complained that Americans were too frugal and behind in fashion). However we lost that since the 1960’s as American affluence exploded. Romans have a saying, “the deprivations of wealth can be worst then the deprivations of war”. Question for the Chinese Americans, is how long or how many generations will maintain its successful family value system when subjected to the affluent life style of modern America that has already destroyed the traditional values of the past?
I once told my Army chaplain who lamented in the 1970’s that Americans need to be like the Chinese when it came to family values. Americans don’t need to become Chinese, Americans need to go back to the traditions of the past. Past American traditions and values are similar to the Confucious values that drive the Chinese family to success.
“If China parent su good, why China farl into decrine for five hunred year?”
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I know answer!!! China chilrun get tire if burl$hit from clazy China mothers!
I think good parenting empowers and expects kids to take on a increasing role in making their decisions, as they age and hopefully mature.
But in a healthy relationship, the parents experience can be used and leveraged by the kids.
Many kids don't want to listen to mom and dad and insist on making avoidable mistakes.
I don't know why, but it heartens me greatly to see a person of Chinese descent with the words "12" and "Gauge" in their screen name.
I’m not sure what I wrote that any Freeper was supposed to take personally.
Perhaps I jumped the gun - which of the ten posts preceding your's were you intending to criticize?
The “responses” referred to were the responses in the article, not posts.
Understood. My mistake.
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