Replies

Fee,

You make a good point on behalf of classical education. However, Ms. Chua seems to repeat to some degree the actions of her own mother. As a person of Chinese descent, I would say learning a musical instrument was part of my “classical education.” Although I eventually got to district semi-finals, my parents saw music lessons as a way of keeping my mind and hands busy with no expectation of me becoming a concert pianist.

My parents thought a lot of my elementary education was not challenging enough so they sent me to a college prep school, where getting into trouble was difficult since I had athletic and academic education added to music. They could see the strain on me and allowed me to quit piano and relax with mystery novels.

I really appreciate the discipline and moral values that my parents instilled in me. They have made me a better person, who appreciates and expects real achievement in others.

Unfortunately the Chua article does a disservice to all Chinese Americans. The key to Asian success is the understanding that education is very important. Talk to a Chinese immigrant, this is the common theme no matter if the immigrant is working in a Chinatown garment factory or upper middle class professional. Second is the parents once they determine they do not have an opportunity to go to school immediately make the decision to dedicate the rest of their working life to make sure their children have that opportunity to go to school. They do not get bitter, and wallow in self pity and drink/drug themselves to oblivion, but possess the value of sacrificing for the next generation. You will be surprise how many immigrant parents end up qualifying for welfare after they empty most of their savings so their kids can go to college and graduate, because they don’t want the next generation to begin life burdened by college debt.
Many Chinese parents “do not expect but hope” (if people understand the Chinese language, this is a very emotionally powerful saying) their children understand their dreams. Most Chinese kids do understand and react accordingly. They are smart enough to look at a magazine showing a college educated professional in a nice office and see their parents come home late at night slaving in some Chinatown store or factory. Even the ones who do not have perfect parents.
Example, one guy told me he had a father who gambled most of his pay. When he went to college he had to work when most of his fellow high school classmates when to college and concentrated on studying. When he got angry about it his mother pointed out despite his father’s shortcoming he always made sure his family had a roof over their heads, shoes on his feet, clothing on his back and food in his stomach. He was not a perfect father, but he was his father. His father in the later years lamented that if he had not gambled maybe his son could have gone to a more prestiges school or had better grades if he did not have to work while in college. He assured his father that he has forgiven him long ago and not to worry about it.
The other thing missing in the Chua article is most young Chinese kids are only separated by two generations that have survived the deprivations of war, civil war and social chaos of China. If parents cannot make an impression, believe me, grandparents can make an impression on how fortunate these young kids are being in the US a land of opportunity. This is what is missing in the Chua article. It is not the method but the philosophy, generational experience and a value system developed from this experience that creates the success. Just like the US which has a unique experience in fostering freedom, individualism and innovation, the Chinese also has a unique historical experience that creates a value system that allows them to be successful.
Americans also had similar values of being frugal, self reliance, save during times of feast for times of famine (Europeans of the 19th Century complained that Americans were too frugal and behind in fashion). However we lost that since the 1960’s as American affluence exploded. Romans have a saying, “the deprivations of wealth can be worst then the deprivations of war”. Question for the Chinese Americans, is how long or how many generations will maintain its successful family value system when subjected to the affluent life style of modern America that has already destroyed the traditional values of the past?
I once told my Army chaplain who lamented in the 1970’s that Americans need to be like the Chinese when it came to family values. Americans don’t need to become Chinese, Americans need to go back to the traditions of the past. Past American traditions and values are similar to the Confucious values that drive the Chinese family to success.