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Carolee Bildsten Stiffs Joe’s Crab Shack, Tries to Beat Cop With a Dildo

Because you just can’t get enough of the weirdness that is America, we bring you this fine tale from Gurnee, Illinois. It seems 56-year-old Carolee Bildsten is really partial to chowing at Joe’s Crab Shack. She’s just not all that partial about paying for it...

She’d been to the restaurant two weeks before, only to skip out on her bill. So when she showed up a second time, police were on the alert when she tried to dine and dash again.

This time, an officer found the obviously lubricated Carolee laying on the lawn of a nearby Six Flags park. She said she didn’t have any money on her, but she had some at home. So the kind officer escorted her to her undoubtedly stately residence.

That’s when Carolee told the cop that her money was in her dresser. But when she reached in, she didn’t grab cash. She grabbed what the officer would later describe as a “clear, rigid feminine pleasure device.” This is apparently cop-speak for “dildo.”

Unfortunately for the officer, Carolee believes dildos have multiple uses. One of those being its value as a weapon in case you’ve just been caught stiffing chain restaurants that are usually located near malls and freeway exits. According to the police report, she “held it over her head and approached the officer in a threatening manner.”

Seeing as how she was 56-years-old, hammered, and trying to beat up a cop with a dildo, Carolee wasn’t in peak fighting condition. The officer easily disarmed her. She’s now charged with theft of labor for ripping off Joe’s, public intox, and aggravated assault.

http://www.truecrimereport.com/2010/11/carolee_bildsten_stiffs_joes_c.php