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Look, I understand. You and your alternate monikers have thoroughly convinced me. I have capitulated more than once, and have thrown in the towel.

It is not good enough for someone to not like a product, you will brow beat them into submission. So, I’ve submitted, but yet you continue to beat this dead horse.

So, I will outline to you, my submission, and I advise anyone who disagrees with you on the threads here, that they too sign the submission, in hopes that they are not harassed or harangued for days on end.

Here goes:

1) Apple is the greatest company that has ever existed in the history of the world.
2) Apple products are now, have always been, and always will be, the greatest products ever created.
3) Apple has never made a mistake in the history of its existence.
4) Apples strength lies in its proprietary control, yet, it is not proprietary, and actually more open than a PC, so that is also its strength.
5) Apple is cheaper than a PC.
6) Even an Apple II+ from 1984 is faster than the most up recent Intel chip-set in a PC.
7) Big Blue is actually an Apple IIc with a big blue box around it.
8) The iPhone is better than anything that will ever come around, and anyone who disagrees is a moron.
9) Every story that degrades Apple is a lie.
10) Every story that promotes Apple is understated.
11) Al Gore on the BoD of Apple is irrelevant (unless you want it to be relevant, then it is).
12) Apple does not promote themselves as green (unless you want them to be green, then they are green)
13) Apple runs MS programs better than MS based machines.
14) Even when Apple had less than 1% of the market, they secretly had 90% of the market. Those who disagree are “deniers”.
15) The Droid was developed by Apple, just for fun, and will have no impact on Apple.
16) Apple cannot be harmed by any virus or malware, even if you download constant porn or run malicious software. There is no need for anti-virus or firewalls, because Apple is that solid.
17) Steve Jobs can kick Chuck Norris ass.
18) Everything Apple has done since day one, has been “part of the plan”, but since Apple doesn’t use committees, or think tanks, it has all just been off the top of Steve Jobs head. Even his firing was part of “the plan”, so when he came back, the stock price would soar even more!
19) Apple is NOT the preferred computer of gays, hippies and liberals (unless you are a gay, hippy or liberal, in which case it is).
20) Apple has never attempted to force folks into the iTunes store. That is a big lie.
21) Apple products work just fine with a PC, in fact, they work so well, they make a PC run better.
22) It is just as easy to change the speakers on an Apple as it is a PC. That goes for the graphics card, and hard drive as well. Oh, and it’s cheaper, and you have more to choose from.
23) The one button mouse is brilliant.
24) Since Apple never makes mistakes, the long term deal to make AT&T the sole provider was brilliant as well. Those who disagree, are just too dumb to understand the calculations of Mr. Jobs.
25) On the 7th day, God created Apple.

I hope that sums up where all of us who were not so thrilled with Apple previously have gone wrong. I doubt this will curb your 20+ daily posts about how great Apple is, I have to wonder if you are paid by the word or by the posting?

But, to further acknowledge my misdirected past, and to show penance, I further propose the following:

a) All PC’s be confiscated by the government.
b) Since we can force everyone to buy health-care for the good of the nation, we should also force everyone to own an Apple.
c) The first day of every month shall be known as Appleday.
d) Since Apple promotes secularism, Christmas will now be known as Steve Jobs Birth Celebration Week.
e) To celebrate the repeal of DADT, every serviceman will be given an Apple in his favorite color.
f) Those who continue to favor a PC over an Apple, will be tied down to an iChair and beaten with an iClub until they come to their iSenses.
g) As Apple is the greatest company in American History, Steve Jobs will now be appointed as the Technology Czar for Life.
h) Games and applications that don’t run on an Apple, will be outlawed, as they have no place in the New iWorld. There is no need for such things.

Hope I didn’t miss anything. Perhaps you can finally see that you have convinced me, that Apple is greater than even God, Country or Pie (Apple Pie of course).

You win.

And again, I suggest anyone who has a disagreement as to the greatness of Apple, go ahead and try and make a point, try and voice your like of a PC over Apple, and after the 5th day of getting harassed, just sign the above document and submit it. Maybe Swordmaker and his alias accounts will leave you alone.

But I doubt it.

Got it. You are one who REFUSES to look at facts... a new low... Live in your ignorance, esoxmagnum. We have NOT harassed you, we have corrected your mis-information you have been spouting with the facts. You have merely returned to spout MORE myths and mis-information ex cathedra.

In case you missed it, you ARE in violation of Jim Robinson’s edict against attempting to start a flame war. Your attempt at humor is juvenile.

I am NOT Reignoferror, nor do I have multiple accounts... YOU are just one who happens to be in the wrong with a lot of ignorance about what you really demonstrate you know nothing... in spades. You insultingly attempt to spout it as if you are an expert to people WHO ARE EXPERTS and WHO DO USE IT DAILY ... and you tell us we are not doing what we ARE DOING. Then you act aggrieved because when people tell you you’re wrong! That YOU don’t know what you are talking about. And You tell US we don’t know what we are talking about and that we are deluded. And you belittle us... with claims of “not reading” or you erect insulting “strawman arguments” such as this entire post for you to shoot down...

Keep it up and you will be slapped down every time. You are simply outnumbered on these threads. You refuse even to believe that FACT, attributing others to being ME.

There are over 500 of your fellow freepers who use Macs that you are insulting with your posts... You might want to think about that number the next time before you hit that Post button and put your drivel up publicly.