New Parody: Tweak Your Candle Myself (Vanity)

TCH | 12/2/2010 | TCH

[TCH]

TWEAK YOUR CANDLE MYSELF (Sung to: “KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOUR SELF” By the Georgia Satellites) A TCH Parody Production:

I GOT BIG SISTER JANE IN MY POCKETS, GROPIN’ MY DING-A-LING … GOIN’ TO SPRAWL YOU LIKE A STONE, LADY; N’ GIVE YOU A FLING! BUT EACH TIME I SQUALK, I GET INSANE MUMBLING … SHE BE A-TUGGIN’ N’ A TWISTIN’ -- WILL I GET N’ X-RATING? HEY LADY, NO MAYBIES, DON’T PUT YO GLOVE DOWN MY BELT! SHE SAY “YO, GET BACK IN LINE; I’LL TWEAK YO CANDLE MYSELF!”

OLD LADIES N’ BABIES? WHY YOU WANNA PEAK T-S N’ A? YOU KNOW I’LL SPILL YOUR BLOOD, BOY, IF YOU “FEEL” ME THIS WAY! THAT’S WHEN HE THROW ME IN STORAGE, NOW TREAT FOLKS LIKE ‘EM COWS … HE SAID NO FLYIN, NO JETTIN’ UNTIL YA GET THE “PETTIN’ DOWN!” HEY BUDDY, NO MAYBIES, DON’T PUT YO GLOVE DOWN MY BELT! HE SAY “YO, GET BACK IN LINE; I’LL TWEAK YOUR CANDLE MYSELF!”

‘O’ SAYS I OUGHT TA FEEL GLAD, AND I MUST NOT DOUBT TO GIVE IN … AND THAT’S WHEN HE STARTED TAKIN’ OUT BLUE GLOVES, STARTED GROPIN’ MY “FRIEND!” I SAID HOMEY I’LL RESIST YA, THOUGH IT COST ME MY LIFE … HE SAID NO PROBLEM, NO DISROBIN’, ‘TIL YOU TAKE THEE YOUR WIFE! HEY DUMMY, NOT MY BABY, DON’T SET YO GLOVE UPON HER PELT! HE SAID “YO, GET BACK IN LINE; I’LL TWEAK HER CANDLES MYSELF!”

[The KG9 Kid]

The. Hell.

[Bean Counter]

[labette]

Courtesy link for FReepers too young to know the original song:

you tube link

[TCH]

TWEAK YOUR CANDLE MYSELF

(Sung to: “KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOUR SELF” By the Georgia Satellites)

A TCH Parody Production:

I got big Jane in my pockets, gropin’ my ding-a-ling …
Goin’ to sprawl you like a stone, lady; n’ give you a fling!
But each time I squalk, I get insane mumbling …
She be a-tuggin’ n’ a strippin’—will I get n’ x-rating?
Hey lady, no maybes, don’t put yo glove down my belt!
She say “Yo, get back in line; I’ll tweak yo “candle” myself!”

Old ladies n’ babies? Why you wanna peak, T-S n’ A?
You know I’ll spill your blood, boy, if you “feel” me this way!
That’s when he throw me in storage, now treat folks like ‘em cows
He said no flyin, no jettin’ until ya get the “pettin’ down!”
Hey buddy, no maybes, don’t put yo glove down my belt!
He say “Yo, get back in line; I’ll tweak your “candle” myself!”

OH NO, MAN, NO!

(No Fear…)
‘O’ say I outta feel glad, and I must not doubt to give in …
And that’s when he started takin’ out blue gloves, started gropin’ my “friend!”
And I said, “Homey I’ll resist ya, though it cost me my life” …
He said, “No problem, no disrobin’, ‘til you bring me your wife!”
Hey dummy! Not my baby! Don’t set yo glove upon her pelt!
He said “Yo, get back in line; I’ll tweak her “candles” myself!”