Posted on 12/02/2010 11:26:45 AM PST by hawkins
While living in Lincoln, Nebraska I was walking in the mall with my wife. I noticed that every single outfit displayed by the stores was in stunning Nebraska red. I said, "This place is football crazy! I mean it's the middle of winter and everything is red."
My wife looked at me with a scowl and replied, "You idiot. Valentine's Day is Saturday."
"Oh."
Regards,
TS
Don’t foget the sucker’s game of buying clothes for your wife. There are 3 possible responses from her:
— “It’s too small!! I’m getting fat!!!” (49.5% chance)
— “It’s too big!!! You THINK I’m fat!!!” (49.5% chance)
— “It’s perfect!! Darling you’re the best!” (1% chance).
LOL!
*gasp*
I can’t believe you’re still alive to post! :O
My ex once asked me if the dress she was wearing made her look fat.
I replied, “No, the dress makes you look dressed, the fat makes you look fat.”
It wasn’t the reason for the divorce, but it didn’t make the remaining time any better.
He/she
1. Backed over the cat..
2. Ignored the "Maint needed light"..
3. Forgot a beloved pair of corduroy pants in the dryer for an hour..
4. Insert sin here:_________________________
And the punch line is:
And that, Your Honour, is why I shot him/her.
It always makes us laugh, regardless of the offence. Imho, one has to find ways to laugh as often as possible in a marriage.
You need to look at this.
so far, I’ve basically just fallen silent whenever my wife wants a verbal sparring match...can’t argue with someone who ain’t talkin...
of course, we’ve been married less than a year. I’m sure I will need to devise new tactics as the years progress...
I stopped buying clothes for my wife along time ago. It seemed futile to borrow my money from her purse to buy her something she was going to take back and get cash for to put back in her purse.
Women buy emery boards to sharpen their tongues
Self-ping for later uproarious laughter. This entire thread is fantastic!
and you are "The Shrew"?
LOL! Always need the laughs. My husband has, “Yes, dear.” down pretty well now. Only took 15 years. :0)
I'm actually batting 1000 at that! I've picked her up two different items out of the blue- both at a resale store. A nice blouse, and a complete outfit in her favorite color. Both fit her perfectly, and look fantastic on her!
Sometimes I'm the luckiest guy in the world :)
Oh, and just for the record- my wife disliked me the moment she laid eyes on me! I've been teasing her for years that she should have known I was good husband material from that :).
That’s funny.
It’s hysterical....
Too funny. I wonder if some generations did that more than others? The same FIL figured out after the vacuum that this idea was a no no. However, a few years later he did purchase a lawn mower on MOTHER’S DAY. From my understanding, she left to visit her sister till late that night. Funny now but I bet it wasn’t then.
Silence is Golden. People simmer down. It’s easy to not say harsh words, but not so easy to unsay them.
People can’t change others, they can only change themselves.
When I got married we had some really bad fights. It was horrible actually. We were both bad. Finally I just started holding my damn tongue and it made a huge difference. If I get very irritated, I just hold my peace and often pray - helps a lot, we rarely fight now.
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