We're doing Thanksgiving at my step-son's house again this year, and a dozen or so in-laws, outlaws, and various young-uns will be there. He's throwing a 25-pounder in the Orion smoker, and taking care of the pumpkin pie, cranberry sauce, yeast rolls, and associated sides. My wife just went by the church and snagged several folding chairs from the community center because it's getting too big for his dining room, and with the weather forecast appearing to temporarily cooperate, he wants to have dinner outside in the back yard. We're in the middle of prepping our contribution: sauteing celery and onions for the sage stuffing and cornbread dressing, the wife is making squash casserole, sweet potato casserole, and green bean casserole, and she's cooking a great apple crisp. I say great because the apples in it are off of the tree in our front yard. (If you don't own a good apple tree on your property, you are really denying yourself a relatively low-maintenance piece of living Americana.) And I'm also roasting a big-ass smoked ham starting at 07:00 sharp, a 12-pounder if it's an ounce. Studded with whole cloves and glazed with 100% pure, dark amber maple syrup from sugar maples grown in the United States of
By God America. Several pounds of taters have been peeled, cubed, and are in the stock pot with sea salt for boiling and smashing in the morning. We're also arriving with a very large bottle of good German Liebfraumilch. Then, when we abscond with some leftovers and get back here to the Viking Lodge, I'm shoving that good old-fashioned sage stuffing up the keister of a young 11-pound Tom, then basting it in white wine and slow roasting it for the rest of the day. Our Dachshunds know the ritual, and are already milling around the oven in anticipation. Even the neighbor's dog next door knows she's going to get fed right. And I should have Ye Olde Yule Tree up in the living room by the time that golden-brown bird springs forth from the roasting pan.
"But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: for men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away, for his name is Obama."