...Given all the requirements you're looking for this is probably a nice happy medium. You and your wife can start training with it firing .32 S&W cartridge which is a mild cartridge and one that will allow you both lots of range time without excessive recoil and discomfort. For home defense usage, and as your comfort level increases you can work your way up to full power .327 federal magnum cartridges in the same firearm, which is quite a hot cartridge, and while perhaps not the ideal home defense round is certainly better than anything smaller, and ballistically going to rival conventional loadings in .38 Special or 9mm.