.38 double action revolver, always ready to go, no safety’s, always a bullet ready to go, either cock it and aim or just pull trigger for close quarter defense. No malfunctions.
Please consider “The Judge” from Taurus. It is a revolver-type handgun, but is essentially a hand-held shotgun specifically designed for in-home protection. I bought one and LOVE IT.
Mossberg’s 500 for home defense.
For something that will be an effective weapon that your wife can shoot easily, I can think of one that's head and shoulders above all the others, the Ruger SP101. Take your pick of 2-1/4 inch barrel or 3-1/8 inch. In the short barrel take your pick of hammerless or "regular". Also in either barrel length take your pick of Ruger's really nice rubberized stock grips, or the crimson trace laser grips. See Ruger's website for details:
http://www.ruger.com/products/sp101/models.html
This is a piece that your wife can run thousands and thousands of rounds of .38 special ammo thru, and sometimes .357, and then someday pass on to her granddaughter.
OTOH, if you like collector-type stuff you might try to find a used Smith model 10 or model 64 in .38 special. It's a six-shooter instead of the SP's 5, and it has the classic Smith lockwork. Nothing wrong with the Ruger, but I hear the old model 10's / 64's are really sweet. Plus, being .38 special only and NOT capable of firing .357 magnums, which you probably don't need anyway, it's a more trim, compact piece than many of the K-frame and L-frame Smiths made for the .357 / .38 special. Fixed sights too, which is good. "Everything you need and nothing you don't." It's commonly found in 4" barrel, sometimes 2". The model 10 is blue steel, the model 64 is the same gun in stainless.
So there are two choices. The difference is I'd say the Ruger can handle "anything a sane person would shoot thru it", as an old-timer once told me, while the Smith has a "very cool" factor to it without being overbuilt like the Ruger.
Revolvers are best for beginners, btw. "Just grab the handle and go blam."
Glock 19 or SigP226 - 9mm platforms, high capacity magazines, ammo is relatively cheap and plentiful. Both are very durable and easy to maintain. Glock is much less expensive.
Take basic gun safety and shooting training courses and practice every time you can. Then, take a course dealing with what happens when you shoot someone and the ethics of self defense. You must be confident you can do it if the time ever comes.
.357 revolver.
Utterly reliable, no complex immediate action in case of misfire, minimal training, can fire .38 or .357 rounds and can be regripped to fit any hand.
If you each get one, then your weapons and ammo are interchangeable.
In case you’re wondering, why my wife and I travel she has a S&W model 10 and I have a 686.
40 cal glock for you. Wife any big name 32 cal. Sotgun would be nice too..
Hi-Point-— American Made Lifetime Warranty
and affordable,,though have been called ugly.
http://www.hi-pointfirearms.com/handguns/handgun_main.html
Stick with a semi auto, it'll make the recoil a little better for your wife.
If your wife feels the 45 acp is just a little too much try a 10mm or .40.
9mm's are ok , but not a lot of stopping power.
Now that being said, its still not a bad round and the ammo is easy to get and inexpensive. The SEALs carried the Sig P229 until they went to a 45acp with the H&K MK23 (BIG gun). Also, many cops and military carry the Beretta 92 fs.
Find the frame you like, then find the round you like.
Like I said the Beretta and Sig both have military backgrounds, meaning they are reliable. H&K, in my opinion is the best out there. And their price is going to be 30-50% higher than the Sig or Beretta. H&K has the USP and you can get it in 9mm, .40 and .45. The USP is basically the little brother to the MK23, with most of the same workings, but on a smaller frame.
Remember to try different combinations of frames and calibers. A 45 in one gun might feel too much, but in another it might feel fine.
You said you shot some friends guns. How did you like any of them (the guns, not your friends)
Go with the Taurus Judge. It shoots 45colt and 410 that you can alternate in the chamber if you like or just load it with 45 hollow points. With a semi you have to chamber a round before firing where you only have to pull the trigger with the revolver. I have a s&w 38 that has more recoil than the Judge. Taurus has even come out with one that has a pink grip. I keep mine handy in my house and vehicle. For concealment I have a keltec 380 and a Taurus 9mm. But my favorite hands down is the Judge.
Here is my heartfelt advice:
1. Buy and read Boston’s Gun Bible. His advice will be 100x more valuable that you get here (except for mine ;-) and you’ll end up wiser than 90% of those who post on this thread.
2. Buy the gun you enjoyed shooting most at the range (even if you just has a little sense that it was the coolest, or felt best in your hand). Don’t force yourself to buy the one that you were most accurate with. You’ll learn with you new gun and do just fine.
3. Don’t get caught up in cartridge wars. 9 and 38 are fine, but if it starts with “4” it’s probably better. And don’t let anyone tell you that little ladies can’t handle larger calibers. The issue is not size, but whether someone has learned to shoot confidently without flinching.
4. Practice, practice, practice. Everyone says this (and they’re right) but few do enough. Also if you buy the gun you “love” or think is “cooler” you’ll want to practice more.
5. Don’t worry about making a mistake. Guns can be resold, believe it or not. If you buy at a shop, ask about a buy-back/trade-in deal. If you buy from a private individual (if legal in your state) you can check out prices online and end up paying what you could sell it for. And lemons among name brand modern pistols are almost unheard of, so don’t worry about getting taken.
6. If you can buy in a private sale, that means you are still a “virgin” with respect to federal records. Smart move, even if you have to pay a small premium. Look in your want ads, on gunsamerica, gunbroker, auctionarms (search by area code or state), or post a WTB postcard at the range. Be sure this is legal in your state, which it is in most “red” states.
7. I’m serious about Boston’s Gun Bible. Even if you buy a gun first, you should read the book ASAP.
Now, for my personal opinion: buy a nice name-brand semiauto. Revolvers are not nearly the self defense gun, assuming you have a little training. If you intend to be incompetent and untrained, you could buy a revolver, but I’d suggest buying nothing.
Depends on what you mean by “occasionally.” If you mean once a year or less, I recommend a decent 12 ga pump shotgun, not a handgun.
If you mean “enough to get proficient,” a .38 revolver or 9mm semi-auto is a good choice. Forget the .45 - can be a bit much until you practice enough. As far as stopping power, just get some high end ammo. I like Hornady XTP or critical defense. That stuff will drop a perp. You should practice at least a little with that ammo - it can kick a little differently - but you can use plain cheap FMJ (full metal jacket) for most practice.
As far as brand goes, any “mainstream” brand is fine: Ruger, Colt, S&W, Sig, Kimber, Glock, etc. (Although I’m partial to Sigs - accurate, rugged, and fit my habd well.)
And then pls do practice more than “occasionally.” If the SHTF, you want to be proficient. Seconds or less could really matter.
Find the largest caliber firearm that satisfies the above mentioned criteria for both you and your wife and then practice, practice, and practice some more. Remember, a solid hit with a .38 or 9mm, beats a miss with a larger caliber.
Go with a 9mm. It is pretty much the minimum effective self-defense caliber. My wife isn’t comfortable shooting a .45. Too much pop for her.
For brands — I am partial to Heckler and Koch. The USP Compact 9mm and HK P30 9mm are both fantastic all-purpose weapons. They’re effective, durable, reliable, accurate, and concealable. Everything you’d want in a sidearm. The down side is the cost ... HK is a high-end brand. But, you definitely get what you pay for.
Other options that I like in 9mm — Walther P99, Beretta PX4 Storm, and Sig Sauer P228 or P229.
The Glock 19 is a popular model in 9mm, but I personally didn’t like the ergonomics.
SnakeDoc
I recommend a revolver because and no offense meant, but it's idiot proof. Stainless steel requires less maintenance and it can live in a drawer for years. The rubber grips are for comfort.
The .357 is a man killer. Keep the gun loaded and put away but readily accessible.
And lastly a firearm in the home is not for show. Never point a gun at something you do not intend to kill.
Best of luck
Let me add that looking over the replies, you are getting some good advice, and some poor advice (sometimes in the same post).
Filter accordingly.
PS, I bet my life on Hornady Critical Defense pistol ammo, for what’s it’s worth.
my 2 cents...a .45ACP or a .357. A shotgun (12 gauge with slugs)is nice, but your average drug addict breaking into your house is not going to respond to the “slide” sound. In any case, all 3 are one shot weapons...avoid the 9 millimeters and .22’s. Let us know what you choose.
Go with a 9mm. It is pretty much the minimum effective self-defense caliber. My wife isn’t comfortable shooting a .45. Too much pop for her.
For brands — I am partial to Heckler and Koch. The USP Compact 9mm and HK P30 9mm are both fantastic all-purpose weapons. They’re effective, durable, reliable, accurate, and concealable. Everything you’d want in a sidearm. The down side is the cost ... HK is a high-end brand. You’re looking at $700-$900 new for one of those models. But, you definitely get what you pay for.
Other options that I like in 9mm — Walther P99, Beretta PX4 Storm, and Sig Sauer P228 or P229.
The Glock 19 is a popular model in 9mm, but I personally didn’t like the ergonomics.
SnakeDoc
I’m in the camp that thinks that you use the hand gun that would be most helpful in getting you from your bed to the closet where your 12 gauge or assault rifle is. I use a .38 because my closet is about 5 steps from my bed. 1 shell for each step with one left over for caution.