Find the largest caliber firearm that satisfies the above mentioned criteria for both you and your wife and then practice, practice, and practice some more. Remember, a solid hit with a .38 or 9mm, beats a miss with a larger caliber.
That’s how I ended with my first Kimber the TAC II. I shot several guns over two weeks and just loved the TAC II. Turned out is was puppy love.
I fell hard in love with the Kimber Eclipse Target II and it’s the one I go to the range with...Always.
Can’t be making my baby jealous.
My brother loves his H&K 9mm, I don’t. Though I do envy what he pays for ammo.