Posted on 10/01/2010 7:26:20 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
In the last few months, I have received half a dozen e-mails inviting me to become a "friend" on Facebook. Some of these are from my beloved children, some from colleagues and former students, and others from people I barely know.
In every case, I have politely declined, explaining that I detest the idea of Facebook and refuse to be emotionally blackmailed into joining it solely to avoid offending them.
My first reason for opposing Facebook is the sheer phoniness of it. "Friends" are collected and displayed, like a stud's panty collection in a frat house. The very indiscriminateness of it cheapens it. It reminds me of the scene in Kurt Vonnegut's God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater where Senator Rosewater chides his hyperidealistic son in words something like this:
"Eliot, it's as if you stood on a street corner, with a pile of squares of toilet paper with 'I love you' written on each one, and handed one out to everybody that passed by. I just don't want my square of toilet paper."
My second objection is that the very use of the word "friend" betrays its falseness. I doubt that I've ever used the word in speaking with anyone I know. If one of us were to ask "are you my friend?" the answer would automatically have to be "no"; the asking of the question implies the answer. It's like the explanation of a charming young English acquaintance that "one never calls a woman a lady unless she isn't."
My third objection is that Facebook imposes an artificial and superficial digitalization of the concept of friendship. I know hundreds, perhaps thousands of people. If pressed, I might categorize them as people I've met, acquaintances, neighbors, colleagues, friends, and loved ones. But in truth, they form a multidimensional spectrum of innumerable and delicately nuanced gradations of interest, respect, fondness, intimacy, and mutual understanding. (I don't know how many dimensions there are; as in string theory, it's always more than you think.) It would be crude and imbecilic to try to reduce these relationships into a one-dimensional, binary 0 or 1.
There's something Marxist or even Orwellian about this. At the very least, it gruesomely demonstrates how cheap and artificial our society has become, with its A- and B-lists and computer-programmed selection of Christmas card recipients.
My fourth objection is that these relationships are a private matter that I do not wish to have displayed on somebody's website.
My fifth is that the Facebook organization seems to be trying to build an evil empire -- not merely to facilitate, but to dominate the social network they have created. Otherwise, they wouldn't insist on forcing would-be friends to first become members. And they wouldn't send you repeated reminders that so-and-so wants you to be his "friend" and urging you to quickly sign up. There have been several uproars about Facebook's manipulation of its members' privacy, including encroachments that some say the Facebook organization anticipated would be unwelcome. Moreover, it appears that once you have joined, it's very difficult to cancel your account.
My final objection is that it's morally and emotionally harmful to the participants. Popular people are tempted to display their "friends" like trophies or scalps. The shy or lonely are brutally embarrassed by their poor display. It's the very essence of the cliquishness that makes high school a hell for outsiders and loners.
I'm writing this today because I think that the tragedy of Tyler Clementi is a case in point. I think it's significant that Tyler posted his suicide note on Facebook, and I wince at the irony that the mourning of his death is being commemorated on a special Facebook page. More to the point, I believe that the bizarre actions of Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei, which allegedly led to Tyler's suicide, were to a major degree the product of the Facebook-Twitter mentality that they were all victims of.
This week saw the debut of The Social Network, a movie about the genesis of Facebook. I planned to see that movie in the hope of finding out how all this idiocy started. Instead, I intend to boycott it in honor of Tyler.
And please, if you plan to join Facebook, don't send me any invitations.
I have never responded to any online invitation unless it came from someone on my list.
Like anything else, ok in moderation. It is a great way of keeping in touch and sharing family pictures. If you spend more than 10 minutes per day on it and it becomes more of a virtual alternate life than a tool, Facebook can cause serious problems
Im friends with people I dont even know. . . They ramble on and on and on about crap nobody knows or care about.
Im going to go log on now and watch. . .
“he’s not on facebook his name does not come up when you do a search”
He might be using an avatar. Try typing in “Sourpuss.”
When that didn't happen, I quit.
No. I don’t even have an account.
Just don’t say that you’re freeping right now.
You’ll get attacked rabidly by any lefty friends you have, and their lefty friends will join in too.
That is also the way i see it, my wife and some of her family joined facebook, i signed up but then got to thinking about it and did not complete it.
I got to thinking about how many real friends i have and i was shocked, i could count them on one hand and have fingers left, i am not telling my age but most of my friends are done gone unless i do not take into consideration what a friend really is.
A real friend is worth all of the gold in the world, keep them.
Yep - I got to reconnect with several people with whom I lost track. My general rule-of-thumb is that I only accept requests from people with whom I’ve had face-to-face contact and would actually converse with in the real world.
Facebook was instrumental in getting the word out for my mom’s funeral. It was less stressful than calling everyone and telling them about the death (it was unexpected). I still called my closest friends to tell them personally.
That’s exactly what I love about it! I have reconnected with dozens of the old friends I went to HS with and enjoy “checking in” with them on a daily or weekly basis (as the case may be), and seeing pictures of their vacations and their families, it makes me feel like those years in between have dropped away, and I can keep in touch with all of them without having to spend hours on the phone (which I deeply dislike). Also, I have a LOT of family in Ireland, and this gives us all a way to stay connected without frequent transatlantic phone calls (not really a fan of those either). If someone else doesn’t want to join the party, so to speak, well that’s fine! But calling other people out just because they enjoy having a multidimensional way to maintain friendships and family relationships is childish and somewhat controlling (don’t like controlling people either!). So I’ll just go back to my FR and FB now.... :-)
Facebook is a great tool for networking with other conservatives.
I also have actual, real life friends on there and even a select few Freeper friends.
The writer should get the sand out of his crotch.
Why does this screed remind me of “Emily Latella”?
I have two friends who use Facebook to advertise their ministries; actually, it’s more like incessantly “pimp” their ministries. I’m a Christian and I enjoy hearing about how God works in other people’s lives, but I’m to the point where I’m going to delete one of those two friends.
I’m not saying you’re like that, btw!
I have a cousin-in-law who decided he needed to start his own ministry. Why? Because he has “so many facebook friends.”
No joke.
Also, I like to stealth-attack liberalism. I’d like to say that I’m at least a little bit responsible for some defections from the Dark Side. ;)
I have reconnected with tons of old friends. I love it.
And I occasionally accept friend requests from people I don’t know if it doesn’t look like they are spamming a website.
I can see why he things displaying your friends is kind of weird. But that’s optional. And finding one friend and then looking at their list of friends for mutual friends you have forgotten is a great way to reconnect.
The few lefty friends that I have know better than to try to verbally attack me because they end up being emotionally and mentally eviscerated for all to see. What’s really sad is when from their responses they actually think they have scored a point or two with their witticisms and only look even more foolish.
FACEBOOK, MYSPACE, etc. , are just ways to dupe the youth in our nation into putting all their private information online, and thinking that only their ‘friends’ will see it.
That's a great idea. I might have to go in and delete everybody who is not either a family member or part of my "mafia". :-)
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