This story neglects to mention the more serious and widespread threat to our schools. Sticks! On nearly every schoolyard in America, one can find these tools of Satan lurking, which can be rubbed together by children to spark violent conflagrations!
What’s even more devious, is that sticks can be easily sharpened on the asphalt of the outdoor basketball courts to fashion deadly weapons. Even without sharpening, a heavy, blunt stick, can easily crush the delicate skulls of our innocents. Clearly sticks are a most heinous violation of our precious zero-tolerance policies and must be expunged from our schools forthwith!
These idiots would have gone bonkers over my old high school chemistry lab!!
Why we even had concentrated Nitric and Sulpheric Acids as well as metallic Soduim and Lithium. Come th think of it, we even had Glycerine!
I beg to differ, I think the real threat to our society are magnifying glasses and the young men who use them to concentrate the energy of the sun.
Not to mention rocks.