Posted on 09/15/2010 7:33:26 AM PDT by Liz
LIFE STORY A simple-minded gardener named Chance has spent all his life in the Washington D.C. and Chicago. When his keeper dies, Chance is put out on the street with no knowledge of the world except what he has learned from television. After a run in with a limousine liberal, he ends up a guest of a woman (Eve) and her husband Ben, an influential but sickly businessman. Now called Chauncey Gardner, Chance becomes friend and confidante to Ben, an unlikely political insider, and the next President.
MEMORABLE QUOTES
Doctor Allenby: This won't hurt a bit[Sticks Chance with a needle] Chance the Gardener: It did hurt.
[Riding in a car for the first time] Chance the Gardener: This is just like television, only you can see much further.
[With other poor black seniors, watching Chance on TV] Louise: It's for sure a white man's world in America. Look here: I raised that boy since he was the size of a piss-ant. And I'll say right now, he never learned to read and write. No, sir. Had no brains at all. Was stuffed with rice pudding between th' ears. Shortchanged by the Lord, and dumb as a jackass. Look at him now! Yes, sir, all you've gotta be is white in America, to get whatever you want. Gobbledy-gook!
Chance the Gardener: I like to watch.
President "Bobby": Mr. Gardner, do you agree with Ben, or do you think that we can stimulate growth through temporary incentives? [Long pause] Chance the Gardener: As long as the roots are not severed, all is well. And all will be well in the garden.
President "Bobby": In the garden. Chance the Gardener: Yes. In the garden, growth has it seasons. First comes spring and summer, but then we have fall and winter. And then we get spring and summer again.
President "Bobby": Spring and summer. Chance the Gardener: Yes. President "Bobby": Then fall and winter. Chance the Gardener: Yes.
Benjamin Rand: I think what our insightful young friend is saying is that we welcome the inevitable seasons of nature, but we're upset by the seasons of our economy. Chance the Gardener: Yes! There will be growth in the spring!
Benjamin Rand: Hmm! Chance the Gardener: Hmm! President "Bobby": Hm. Well, Mr. Gardner, I must admit that is one of the most refreshing and optimistic statements I've heard in a very, very long time. [Benjamin Rand applauds] President "Bobby": I admire your good, solid sense. That's precisely what we lack on Capitol Hill.
Ron Steigler: Mr. Gardner, uh, my editors and I have been wondering if you would consider writing a book for us, something about your um, political philosophy, what do you say? Chance the Gardener: I can't write.
Ron Steigler: Heh, heh, of course not, who can nowadays? Listen, I have trouble writing a postcard to my children. Look uhh, we can give you a six figure advance, I'll provide you with the very best ghost-writer, proof-readers...
Chance the Gardener: I can't read. Ron Steigler: Of course you can't! No one has the time! We, we glance at things, we watch television... Chance the Gardener: I like to watch TV. Ron Steigler: Oh, oh, oh sure you do. No one reads!
Dennis Watson: You know, I've never met anyone like you in Washington before. Chance the Gardener: Yes, I've been here all my life. Dennis Watson: Really? And uh, where have you been all MY life? [laughs]
Dennis Watson: Ah, tell me, Mr. Gardner... have you ever had sex with a man? Chance the Gardener: No... I don't think so. Dennis Watson: We could go upstairs right now.
Chance the Gardener: Is there a TV upstairs? I like to watch. Dennis Watson: You like to uh, watch? Chance the Gardener: Yes. Dennis Watson: You wait right here. I'll go get Warren!
President "Bobby": Life is a state of mind.
Morton Hull: Do you realize that more people will be watching you tonight, than all those who have seen theater plays in the last forty years? Chance the Gardener: Why?
[Thomas and Johanna are watching Chance's interview on TV] Thomas Franklin: It's that gardener. Johanna, girl with Franklin: Yes, Chauncey Gardiner. Thomas Franklin: No, he's a real gardener. Johanna, girl with Franklin: He does talk like one. I think he's brilliant.
[upon walking out of an elevator] Chance the Gardener: That was a very small room.
Abraz: Bull****. Who sent you here, boy? Did that chicken**** a**hole Raphael send you, boy? Chance the Gardener: No. Mr. Thomas Franklin told me I must leave the old man's house. He's dead, you know. Abraz: Dead, my ass. You tell that asshole, if he got somethin' to tell me, to get his ass down here himself! You got that, boy?
[first lines] Chance the Gardener: Good morning, Louise. Louise: He's dead, Chance. The old man's dead. Chance the Gardener: I see. [Chance goes back to watching TV]
This is far too kind to Hussein.
Being There. One of the best movies of all time. Explains how people like Mike Dukakis et.al. become Chosen Ones. If you don’t understand what ‘projection’ is, this movie explains it quite well.
Obama is Chance the Gardener without the smarts.
Ah. Will give it a try. Thanks for understanding the pic. :)
Chance, the gardener, had no desire for control, beyond what a teevee remote affords. Obama is diametrically opposite this, craving power and control.
I love the end when he walks on the water and checks how deep it is with his umbrella. It he a metaphor for Jesus or was he to stupid to sink?
I think simpleton Joe Biden more resembles Chance than FUBO. What we have in DC is a buffoon and an evil clown.
Or as Bugs Bunny said, “Fortunately, I haven’t read the laws of gravity”.
The ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
This one is a little
different ...
Two Different Versions
...
Two Different Morals
OLD VERSION
The ant works
hard in the withering heat all
summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper
thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and
dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm
and well fed.
The grasshopper has
no food or shelter, so he
dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE OLD STORY:
Be responsible for
yourself!
MODERN
VERSION
The ant works hard
in the withering heat and the
rain all summer long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant
is a fool and laughs and dances
and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper
calls a press conference and
demands to know why the ant should be
allowed to be warm and well
fed while he is cold and starving.
CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN,
and ABC show up to
provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper
next to a video of the ant
in his comfortable home with
a table filled with food.
America is stunned
by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country
of such wealth, this poor grasshopper
is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah
with the grasshopper
and everybody cries when they
sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green...’
ACORN stages
a demonstration in front of
the ant’s
house where the news stations
film the group singing, “We shall overcome.”
Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright
has the group kneel down to
pray for thegrasshopper’s sake.
President Obama condemns the ant
and blames
President Bush, President
Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the
Pope for the grasshopper’s
plight.
Nancy Pelosi &
Harry Reid
exclaim in an interview with Larry
King that the ant has
gotten rich off the back of the
grasshopper,
and both call for an immediate
tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity
&
Anti-Grasshopper Act
retroactive to the beginning
of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to
hire a proportionate number
of green bugs and,
having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his
home is confiscated by the Government GreenCzar
and given to the grasshopper.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper
and his free-loading friends finishing up the last
bits of the ant’s food while the government house
he is in, which, as you recall, just
happens to be the ant’s old house,
crumbles around them because
the grasshopper doesn’t maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow, never
to be seen again.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident,
and the house, now abandoned, is taken
over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle,
once prosperous and peaceful, neighborhood.
The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest
of the free world with it.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Be careful how you
vote in 2010.
I’ve sent
this to you because I believe that you are an ant
–
not a grasshopper!
Make sure
that you pass
this on to
other ants.
Don’t bother
sending
it on to
any grasshoppers
because they
wouldn’t
understand
it, anyway.
This is a two-fer.
1st, he was too naive to sink. 2nd., this is how most of the world saw him - he could, in their minds, walk on water.
His only claim to legitimacy was that he dressed well. BO’s only claim to legitimacy was that he made a speech at the Democratic Convention in Boston. The media fawned over the fact that ‘here is a black man who can speak well’, once again, revealing the inherent racism of the Left. EVERYTHING else that is attached to this man has been PROJECTED upon him by the Left. Beyond THAT speech, there is NOTHING. N O T H I N G...
Like this one.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.