French survey reports sex misery for most couples (So much for the myth of the romantic Frenchman)

BBC ^ | 09/14/2010

[SeekAndFind]

A survey by one of France's oldest and most reputable polling and market research organisations has challenged the myth of the French lover.

More than three-quarters of Gallic couples have bad sex lives, the Institute for Public Opinion found.

More than one in three women said they had used excuses such as headaches, tiredness or children being nearby to get out of having sex.

Nearly one in six men said they had also made similar excuses.

France has long enjoyed a reputation for romance and the French have traditionally thought of themselves as great lovers, more amorous and flirtatious than most other Europeans, especially the British, the BBC's David Chazan reports from Paris.

But the survey of more than 1,000 French adults, who answered revealing questions about their sex lives, suggests the nation that gave its name to the French kiss could be suffering a loss of libido, he says.

[SeekAndFind]

Red Buttons on one of his NEVER GOT A DINNER JOKES :

Marie-Antoinette, who said to Louis, “Not tonight – this is my last headache.” Never got a dinner!

[Tax-chick]

The pharmaceutical corporation which commissioned the survey says ...

[ClearCase_guy]

I’m embarassed to say that I don’t get that joke. I’ve heard the “never got a dinner” line for years and it just doesn’t click for me. I know that explaining humor is a thankless task, but can you possibly write a couple sentences and tell me what “never got a dinner” means and why it’s funny?

[csmusaret]

All those extra marital affairs can really wreak havoc on the old sex life.

[copaliscrossing]

However, help may be at hand

Seriously..... The story writer just HAD to use that phrasing! LOL!

[Jack Hydrazine]

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw a spectacular gorgeous woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. As if his prayers were answered, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, “Business trip or vacation?”

She turned, smiled, and said, “Business. The Annual Sexual Education Convention in Chicago.”

He swallowed hard. Here was this most beautiful woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for sex education! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your business role at this convention?”

“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”

“Really,” he said. “What myths are those?”

“Well,” she explained. “One popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed, when in fact it’s the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent. We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern Redneck.”

Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I really shouldn’t be discussing this with you. I don’t even know your name.”

“It’s Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba!”

[SeekAndFind]

Marie-Antoniette expects to be beheaded soon ( Remember, it’s the French Revolution and yes, she was beheaded).

King Louis still wants to have sex with her.

Having a headache is one of the oldest excuse wives give to their husbands NOT to have sex (e.g. “Not tonight honey, I have a headache”).

[Julia H.]

I can’t imagine the sex between effeminate men and hairy women being all that thrilling.

[ClearCase_guy]

Oh, I understand the Marie-Antoinette, headache, no sex aspect of it.

But, "never got a dinner!"?

[Julia H.]

Maybe it’s supposed to sound like “Never got it in her?” I dunno...

[Immerito]

I got that part, but why the use of the phrase “Never Got a Dinner”?

[Texan Tory]

“can you possibly write a couple sentences and tell me what “never got a dinner” means and why it’s funny?”

Just watch out a video of Red Buttons doing a roast for George Burns, then you’ll understand. Red Buttons talks about various people and what notable things they have done, but that they “never got a dinner” meaning they never had a ceremonial dinner in their honor.

[ClearCase_guy]

Thanks!

[Immerito]

That makes sense. Thanks!

[SouthDixie]

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "I see you've regained consciousness. You probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway.

You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."

The man perks up. "So," the doctor says, "you must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years,and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five-incher before, and get a nine-incher now, she may feel that you were unnecessarily extravagant. On the other hand, if you had a nine-incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be deeply disappointed.

It's important that she plays a role in the decision. We insist that we do nothing until you have discussed this with your wife."

The doctor comes back in the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?", "Yes, I have," says the man. "What is your decision?" asks the doctor.

"We're getting granite countertops!"

[SeekAndFind]

RE: “Never Got a Dinner”?

---

Red Buttons is known for his roasting celebrities by starting it with the famed line :

“THE QUESTION LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IS WHY, WHY ARE WE GIVING X ( Where X could be Frank Sinatra or Ronald Reagan or whoever ) A DINNER WHEN SO MANY FAMOUS PEOPLE IN THE WORLD, NEVER GOT A DINNER?”

Then, he would go on and mouth off some famous people with one liners like (some example):

* Abraham Lincoln, who said, “A house divided ... is a condominium.” Never got a dinner!

* George Washington, who said to his father, “Dad, if I never tell a lie, how am I ever gonna become President?” Never got a dinner!

* Cain, whose wife divorced him because he was not Able. Never got a dinner!

* Ben Hur, who said to his sister Ben Him, “We’d better swap names before they start calling me Ben Gay!” Never got a dinner!

Those were HILARIOUS !! His routine is COMEDY CLASSIC and you ought to watch it.

JUST GO TO YOUTUBE and type :

“Red Buttons Never Got a Dinner”

and you’ll see tons of his routine. They don’t make comedians like that anymore.

[Texan Tory]

No problem. By the way, I had no idea either what it meant either, youtube can be very useful :-)

[MisterArtery]

And remember, European men think it unmanly to use deoderant or anti-perspirant. I used to work with Frogs, Dutchment and Scandanavians. They all smelled like goats. One of the Brits had a tweed jacket that could empty an indoor stadium.

[Berlin_Freeper]