I certainly wouldn't meet the threshold for the "professional" exception. I'm a writer, not a cartoonist, so I can't even imagine what the app would contain; an RSS feed would be a better tool for the job.
Interesting thought... If I paid you $1 to read your political writing, then would you not, in fact, be a professional satirist? After all, you earn part of your living doing so!
I wonder if having a documented income from your political satirist writings would be sufficient to qualify for this exception? If so, the person who writes the best anti-Obama/Democrat screed will get $10 post-haste, and I'll work with them to roll the code for the App Store!