Posted on 08/23/2010 5:31:13 AM PDT by Lacey
DEAR ABBY: A few weeks ago, I had to pick up my sister "Karyn" after a night out. When she called she told me I was going to "hate" her and not to judge her. The man she was with had been arrested for DUI. Abby, he is the same person who killed another one of my sisters in a drunk-driving accident years ago! Not only has Karyn been hanging out with him, it has been going on for months and she says it's serious.
I am appalled with my sister's choice. I told Karyn she could choose him or me. I guess she chose him because we haven't spoken since. I thought we were very close before, but now that I know what she has been doing, I no longer want anything to do with her.
Am I overreacting, or should she be more concerned with how her decisions affect the rest of the family? -- DISAPPOINTED IN NEW YORK
DEAR DISAPPOINTED: I don't think you're overreacting, and I don't blame you for being appalled. Your sister has involved herself with a serious alcoholic who, if he could control his addiction, would have dried out after he killed someone. At least for the time being, keep your distance. While there's no accounting for the affairs of the heart, I have a strong hunch Karyn is going to need all the support you and the family can give her as this romance follows its predictable path.
“I think we need more of the use of good judgement. Judging means a condemnation of the person. Judgement discerns good, helpful actions from bad, harmful actions.”
You cannot reach a judgement without first judging. Judging can be both positive or negative, it’s not just a condemnation. Mostly it is used for distinguishing right from wrong, or good from bad.
That’s mostly because the decent man sitting at home watching football instead of going out and doing things
that will cause him to meet a woman.
Don’t complain that opportunity never knocks, when all you do is sit on the couch.
I understand your point, but if you aren’t even bothering to put yourself out there, you need to look in the mirror if you are wondering why you are alone.
Well, given the fact he killed her own sister with a DUI, and just got busted for another one... I’m not thinking any sane person would buy the “healing process” line.
I am all about believing people can change and learn, and if this guy was stone cold sober, and swore off the alcohol, after killing this woman’s sister, then you are just dealing with a matter of “forgiveness”..
Given he obviously has not quit drinking, even after killing someone, intentionally or not... Yea, I don’t think we are talking about a post salvation transformation here.
Alot of women today have nearly an uncontrolled desire to defy and rebel against just about anything they perceive to be even the slightest restraint on their behavior. Even to the point of cutting off their nose to spite their own face.
I’ve had women flat out admit to me that they will defy something beyond the most basic common sense, even if doing so means their own personal destruction. I’ve known women who’ll absolutely choose death before yielding to any kind of authority that won’t allow them to do what they want.
It was an analogy.
Her sister’s love affair with the drunk who killed their sister is analogous to America’s love affair with the Cult that kills Americans wholesale.
You forgot to mention adequate punishments.
The Imam of the Ground Zero Mosque has so much tolerance on display that he even tolerates Hamas and is unwilling to denounce them as a terrorist organization.
Her daughter Jeanne Phillips handles things now.
Just how many times did she "get into" a car with him while he was driving drunk.
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