I’ve done so many unusual things, I really can’t complain if I never do anything extraordinary.
I’ve:
announced a large parade
climbed almost to Camp Muir on Mt Rainier (8500 ft)
climbed to the top of several other peaks in the Cascades
done white water rafting
had a tryout with the Pittsburg Pirates
do puppet shows
ridden the STP(200 mile bike ride)
snorkled in the Keys
paraglided
sang with Davey Jones of the Monkees
cruised to Alaska
sailed a boat
driven 130+ MPH in a car
driven 110+ MPH on a motorcycle
been to the top of the Empire State Building
watched my wife sing at Carnegie Hall
held my grandson on Christmas day (born premature and I couldn’t hold him when he was born)
watched my daughter being born
preached lots of sermons
had my stories printed
swam in shark infested waters (without a cage)
stared down a gun pointed at my face
I could go on, but you get my drift :>)
I feel the same way! I’ve been overpaid in so many ways.
Did you write this college entrance essay?
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I
have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making
them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic
slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time
efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot
bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook
Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a
veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly
defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious
army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the
subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large
suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On
Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of
charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.
Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear.
I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I
have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last
summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force
demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me
fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy.
I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day
and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I
know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have
performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week;
when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I
successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a
small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On
weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami.
Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.
I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a
toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San
Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the
Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and
I have spoken with Elvis.
But I have not yet gone to college.
Wow. You made me appreciate all the strange and wonderful things I’ve done in this life. I don’t often stop to think about them.
I have:
Sat atop an electrical tower, making it sway back and forth.
Had a knife pressed into my solar plexus by a killer.
Survived being hit by cars four times.
Was class president.
Had a radio show.
Learned to play guitar and wrote 175 songs.
Lived in England for a year.
Stood at the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Married my high school sweetheart.
Left my physical body.
Shot and killed a rabid dog from almost 100 yards with a pistol with one shot.
Been beaten up by the police (more than once).
Rescued a kid from a fall down a 300 foot cliff face when I was 12.
Explored a cave section where no human had ever walked.
Found my way out of that same cave in the dark, and alone.
Had an unexplained sighting of an enormous, multi-colored light beam.
Was first string running back and defensive linebacker on the same team.
Lived in the Far East for six years.
Met loads of movie stars.
Was shot at, at point blank range and wasn’t hit.
Was served lemon pie by Jon Anderson of Yes.
Bought my first house in my dream neighborhood.
Started a business with nothing and grew it into a success.
Was in a Hollywood movie.
Yes, it has been an interesting life, I must admit.