How to Make Windows Faster than Linux

TechSource ^ | 15 July 2010 | jun auza

[ShadowAce]

In terms of speed, we can't deny the fact that Linux has an edge over Windows. This is because Linux is more efficient in handling computer resources when compared to the more bloated Windows. Through this speed advantage, it has been utilized on mobile devices and desktop PCs with limited hardware capabilities. Compared with Windows, Linux desktop boots faster and applications open up quicker and run snappier inside it. Linux servers are favored against those running on Windows because aside from being fast, they are also reliable and secure. I can go on and on explaining about its quickness but since I'm here to teach you how to make Windows faster than Linux, I will now share with you these tips:

1. Defrag Windows disk drive 3X a day
Ask any PC expert and they will always tell you that to speed up Windows you have to defrag your hard disk as often as possible. So in order to make Windows really fast (faster than Linux), why not defrag your hard disk three times a day.

2. Remove anti-virus software
I know this will make Windows vulnerable to security threats such as viruses, spyware, trojans, fungus (sic), and worms. But since this is all about making Windows faster, we recommend that you remove your anti-virus software because it's a resource hog and it is one of the key reasons why your desktop is running slow.

3. Disable Automatic Updates
This is another bad idea in terms of security, but disabling automatic updates can help Windows gain some speed. Running automatic updates slows down your system as it uses computer resources to constantly check for updates like security patches. The system also regularly (more regular than normal) checks and hunts down those who are using pirated copies of Windows.

4. Upgrade RAM
Like a good old tech adviser, I encourage you to upgrade or increase your RAM to accommodate the needs of Vista or Windows 7. There's no way that you can beat a Linux desktop using just 1GB of RAM.

5. Buy a new CPU
Buy a new CPU, make it Quad Core Extreme or better. That will surely beat the s%!t out of any Linux distro running on Pentium 3.

6. Downgrade to Windows 95
If you can't afford to buy a new CPU or upgrade your RAM, find a copy of Windows 95 (preferably genuine) and install it. Your Windows desktop will now be faster than any Linux distro made from 2007 onwards.

7. Wait for Windows 9

Windows 8 might be released next year but I urge you to wait for Windows 9 as it will surely become the greatest, most secure, and fastest operating system in the history of computing. It will be virus-free, anti-virus-free, and Windows-Genuine-Advantage-Notification-free. -Those are all according to Steve Ballmer.

I know that this article is part joke, part real, but I hope you all enjoyed reading this crap stuff :-)

[ShadowAce]

[RobRoy]

Can you run windows applications on Ubuntu?

[ShadowAce]

My kids do it all the time. I run Windows programs under Fedora also.

[for-q-clinton]

This is one of the weakest articles I have read in a long long time. Either that or it’s a parody and I missed the humor.

[ShadowAce]

Yes. Did you read the last line>?

[martin_fierro]

[BigGaloot]

Downgrade to Windows 95?

Haha, sure if you don’t like using Flash, Java or most web based programs. Or, well Firefox at all. Most websites will not load because they require updated versions of the above.

[Nat Turner]

Yes he forgot the < /sarcasm> tag... this was meant to be tongue in cheek

[raybbr]

This is one of the weakest articles I have read in a long long time. Either that or it’s a parody and I missed the humor.

It's a full page of dripping sarcasm.

What programs, other than gaming that I don't play, need to run exceedingly fast? Eighty percent of Windows users are surfing the net and creating documents. What need is there for super-duper-trooper speed?

[RobRoy]

I had no idea. I created an “ubuntu” disk once, but it ran so slow on my machine that I dumped it. I also used open office on my wife’s vista laptop but the whole thing stopped working. None of the internal apps would recognise text entry. I even deleted and re-installed from the latest version. No luck.

So I bought Office 2007.

[badpacifist]

Defrag Windows disk drive 3X a day

Funny parody

[rarestia]

Yes, you can run Win apps on Linux. Just run sudo apt-get install wine. That'll download what you need.

As far as the article:

1. Defrag Windows disk drive 3X a day

Linux doesn't require defragging. You'll be hard pressed to find a Linux defragger.

2. Remove anti-virus software

No AV on Win: bad idea. No AV on Linux: No problem!

3. Disable Automatic Updates

Most Linux updates are breakfixes or content additions. Not too many mandatory security updates from the Linux home office.

4. Upgrade RAM I have an old HP Vectra 133 MHz PC with 512 MB RAM that runs Ubuntu 10.04 better than any other OS!

5. Buy a new CPU

See #4

6. Downgrade to Windows 95

Ok, gotta be sarcasm now. I wouldn't install Fedora 2 when 12 is better than the previous distros. Speaks volumes about MS

7. Wait for Windows 9

Def. sarcasm now. Windows 9? They keep changing the naming scheme. I'll give them Windows 8, but by "9" is ready, it'll be something stupid (Windows RGX Ultra-Internet Mail Warehouse Server Enterprise SP3.4 x64 edition).

[for-q-clinton]

What need is there for super-duper-trooper speed?

For home use: Games, Photo editing (including cataloging), and video editing are the three things I do that require some good speed.

[for-q-clinton]

Normally sarcasm needs to be grounded in truth. What I saw there was an article that could have been written about Windows NT not Windows 7 or Windows 2008. So was he making fun of Linux and it went over my head?

[thecabal]

Awesome article, thanks

[thecabal]

Yes, you can run most Win programs under WINE. I do it all the time.

[thecabal]

I’m guessing you ran Ubuntu as a Live CD. It is a bit slow in that mode, but if you install it properly on a HD partition it should be quite snappy. I’ve got it running very nicely on an Athlon XP 3000 with 1 GB of RAM and an old video card. Win 7 would choke and die on this system.

[ShadowAce]

Like most fanbois (of any stripe or persuasion), he was comparing Linux to what he thinks is modern .

There are very few (if any) truly objective comparisons today.

But is was mildly humorous, and this is Friday.....

[Syntyr]

hehehehe...

However in the real world...

My Quadcore Q6600 with 3 gig of RAM and running Windows Vista Business Ultimate is 21 seconds from the time I push the button to the time I have a usable desktop! Yes I have AVG antivirus installed and also Spybot Search and Destroy. I certainly don’t expect the “average” user to know how to customize the profile to accomplish this but it can be done with mainstream hardware.