[The Comedian]

Closed! Why?

Because the country they represented doesn't exist any longer, and the values they championed are now heresy.

Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.

[Kickass Conservative]

I saw Roy Rogers at Madison Square Garden when I was a little kid. At the end of the show, he rode Trigger around the ring and my Father told me to run down there and put my hand out.

Roy came by and touched all the kids hands as he rode by, including mine. It's one of my cherished childhood memories, along with meeting Dale Robertson at an amusement park called Freedomland.

Hard to believe it was over 50 years ago.

I obviously don't get out much either. LOL