You shouldn’t have sent me that reply. It gives me a chance to tell you some personal snake stories.
When I was about 6.5 years old my parents and I moved from Chicago to the then far south suburbs and they bought a small house on what had recently been farm land. My poor mother felt about snakes just about the way you do. I, OTOH, thought they were great, and we had huge masses of garter snakes plus some green snakes. I proceeded to make the things into pets, carrying them around in my pockets and inside my tee shirt. One of the funniest things our former next door neighbor remembers is the sight of my mother standing on our back porch, a sick look on her face, holding my jeans out at arm’s length, and delicately turning the pockets inside out with the tips of her fingers.
Since then I’ve gotten over carrying them around in my pockets and inside my shirt but am still fascinated by them and watch just about every Discovery Channel and Animal Planet show about them I can find.
Now I live on two wooded acres in far west Knox County, TN and have periodic visits from our legless friends. A couple of years ago I had some major landscaping done on my place that included laying down a nylon mesh mat of the type that’s used on freeway embankments to prevent erosion. The mesh has a very tight weave, so tight that a snake can crawl into it and become trapped. That’s what happened to two rat snakes. I solved the problem by getting down on the ground, carefully clipping each one out of the mesh, and letting it go, even though one of them bit me as a way of thanks.
To show you how much farther gone I really am, there was a recent “Billy the Exterminator” show where the announcer announced that he’d come on an allegedly poisonous snake on a client’s property that he was going to remove. I, OTOH, identified it as a nonpoisonous corn snake, and that’s what it turned out to be.
Please call the Tennessee Department of Metal Hygiene.
I would have solved that by dropping dead right away and having the authorities free the snakes. Two different tactics, same result. You be insane, libstripper! lol