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Thanks for your ideas and suggestions.

My body and house are clean, I eat from scratch, I get outside with my dogs out here in this beautiful country, I don’t feel sorry for myself and I’m sure as heck not a doormat, I don’t have anxiety or panic attacks, I love God more than anything, utter loneliness is my main problem, I have much to offer but no one to offer it to due to loneliness, I’m not “whining” about money and thank God every day for my material blessings, I’m not in debt, I recently tried 2 college classes - was too physically demanding (got great grades though!), I LIKE who I am, I do church when possible but no friends yet so I’m coming to you, I’m not in town or a city, yes I am considering town or a city, no sun here so no flowers/garden which really, really sucks, I don’t feel powerless or a “victim”, Mr. K should learn to read and I won’t say more on that particular post, Social Security is what old people get when they retire except I retired 13 years ago, I am going to talk to a counselor that understands chronic pain, I’m on enough meds now to kill an elephant, I need to change my situation not take more drugs, I’ve been disabled most of my adult life so that is not new but this situational depression is, I pray all day every day and it helps but I DO something now, I have a tent and I LOVE LOVE LOVE to camp but it’s boring by yourself and that’s the issue - I’M LONELY, social workers are overworked and understaffed, I’m aware of my housing options but don’t want to lose my “babies” if possible, I “dive” into the bible and Free Republic, one of my dogs is my retired Service Dog but only a pet now (If not misleading, I’d take you up on that) and the other is a Border Collie (!!), I am very “pro-active”, FR is not the only person/place I’ve reached out to, I’m not 40 yet, I don’t quite qualify for Assisted Living (thanks to Fentanyl!) but that’s not a concern for me...

And that’s as far as I’ve gotten. Whew! Y’all type fast!

You should have known that 90% of the replies would be helpful, but we do have that 10% element here that just want to carp about something & you gave them an opening!!!

I know what it is to be on pain meds, was for quite a few years for chronic back pain & they do make your mind a mess. I was depressed to the max from them.

I'm sure you've tried other methods to relieve the pain, but I will suggest what worked for me anyway. I finally reached out to a forum whose members told me to get my butt into Physical Therapy! Last thing I wanted to hear, "move my sore back, no way"! But, it worked, it was like a miracle, I am med free & pain free.

I do understand the lonliness & if the church you are attending does not seem right for making friends, try another. Wish I had more to offer, but many here have had some good suggestions.

I know its been mentioned, but a GOOD church would do wonders for your situation. I am currently trying to ‘socialize’ more myself. My church is begging for volunteers for everything from clerical to nursery. You volunteer on your time, so there is no conflict with your illness. You will not only form friendships, but connections that may prove to be invaluable in your situation. Maybe you can’t give of money...but you can give of time...

Hi there sweet lady !

I am late to the Dear Abby Party — LOL

but it seems you have gotten some tremendous advice here so far & I want to put a double check mark by the encouragement to find a church, close by & one with a sunday school class for middle age singles & /or other small groups.

You might check on line places nearby & call the ministers & tell him essentially the need you have (not dwelling on some of the other things).. A need for friends & companionship. Ask if they have singles groups/classes.. ask if any of the singles have pets.

You will find kind, good people & will find avenues for growth spiritually as you make new acquaintances.

I have a few friends with dogs & we do dog walks together often.. I have one girlfriend w/o dog & she misses hers(cant have in condo) & is my friend as well as my pets friend

where in Michigan are you? I have a single friend in Ann Arbor area with dog.. (female).. older but you might enjoy each other’s company. If you are nearby I can get your info etc.

Are you in a situation where you can get Thyroid & hormone balance checks done?

For many women I know that is an issue that results in lonliness & depression EVEN when surrounded by people

It sounds like you have a good handles on plus/negatives of your situation.

Have you been burned in a church situation in the past? Do you perhaps have some things in your past that you thnnk might come back to bite you in a church? (NOT wanting you to list them).. but to KNOW that people are very forgiving in a good Christian church & can be supportive of you as your try to get your life back in order.

Keep us posted..please?

The thing that seems to be missing in all of this is a good group of friends. One of the best places I’ve found to meet folks is church. I was in a predicament many years ago where I could see absolutely no way out of my bad situation. During that time I started going to church (after years of not going), it was REALLY hard. That decision saved my life and sanity in so many ways - and put me on a path that I am still on and it has been incredible.

It took a while to find a good church - stay away from the clique-ish ones.

If that’s not your thing, there are other groups for retired people, bingo, or a club surrounding a hobby you might enjoy (gardening, etc). Or get involved in volunteering, a lot of people make lifelong friends through volunteer work.

You can live well and cheaply by becoming a full time RV resident. You would own your place and could have your pets. There are interesting people all around, coming and going. The space itself is only $499.00 a month which includes electricity and water. You can get wifi for another 15 dollars a month. You could basically be anywhere. We are in a place right now with a big lake. There are ducks and geese and frogs and turtles. You can fish, catch/release in the lake (huge pond maybe it is). There are rolling grassy knolls and a country feeling. The trash pick up is every day and you just toss a little bag out the door and they pick it up. There is ample room for cooking, etc. I have seen rigs which even have fireplaces and washer/dryer set ups. It is cheap enough living so that you could actually save up some money. I don’t even resonate with camping AT ALL, but I am loving living this way.

Here’s my two cents. And remember - you get what you pay for!

It sounds like you are in okay shape and condition to be able to cook, drive, keep a clean house, etc. But - the pay doesn’t meet expenses. And you are lonely.

Perhaps you could find someone in your area (an older couple or widow/ widower) perhaps that has a guest room that you can live in and you can cook and clean for them. Preferably someone that you can also be friendly with.

My aunt had such an arrangement and a couple of the gals were practically like daughters after awhile.

If you are in a rural area, the dogs and cats may not be a problem. Although they may be.

I love my dog and cat. And it would be real hard to part with them. But, they aren’t my best friends, and IMHO should not be thought of as best friends. And they certainly shouldn’t get in the way of human friendships and interaction. It is a lot easier to deal with a pet of course, but not as fullfilling.

And dittos on getting involved at church. Oh - and that whole prayer thing! Good luck.