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7 anti-Apple cliches that need to die
TUAW ^ | 29 May 2010 | Chris Rawson

Posted on 05/31/2010 8:14:20 PM PDT by RightOnTheLeftCoast

7 anti-Apple cliches that need to die

by Chris Rawson (RSS feed) on May 29th 2010 at 8:30PM

PC vs. Mac flamewars are older than the web itself, but it seems like the more popular/successful Apple gets, the more heated the argument gets on both sides. Almost any debate about the relative merits of one platform or another is guaranteed to degenerate into an all-out shouting match.

In the midst of all the fighting and name calling, the oddest thing happens: almost every time, you'll see a lot of the same points being raised by both sides again and again. Some of these points are so tired and worn out, they've reached cliche status.


In online debates, there's an informal rule known as Godwin's Law, whereby if you invoke references or comparisons to Nazis or Hitler, you've automatically lost the debate. I say the items on this list have become so worn out they've reached automatic rhetorical failure status on their own. I know that every time I see one of these points appear, I immediately stop any serious consideration of any other arguments from the person who brought it up.

I'm focusing on Apple haters and their cliches for this article, but don't get the idea that Apple users aren't just as guilty of cliche-ridden arguments when they argue against using Windows. If, for example, you're an Apple user and you do any of these things:

-- Cite the Blue Screen of Death (or BSOD, as he's known to his closest friends) as a point against Windows
-- Insert a dollar sign into Microsoft's name (Micro$oft, M$)
-- Use "clever" alternate spellings of Windows (Windoze and other less family-friendly revisions)
-- Call Internet Explorer "Internet Exploder"

you're employing a heavily-cliched, Godwin-esque talking point, too.

Read on for the seven deadly cliches of anti-Mac attacks.



1. Fanboy

Long ago this word actually meant something, as you can discover in this excellent article from Technologizer, but it's become so overused in the past few years that it's become meaningless. Once upon a time, "fanboy" as an insult meant someone had an overweening and maybe even creepy obsession with something or other. Maybe you had a Klingon-themed wedding, complete with uniforms, makeup, and vows in the Klingon language? That would have made you a Star Trek fanboy (we prefer the term "Trekker," good sir). If you spray-painted a big number "3" on the side of your Ford and had an entire set of Dale Earnhardt commemorative plates in your den, that meant you were a NASCAR fanboy.

But "fanboy" has been used so much in Apple vs. PC wars that it's lost its flavor. "You're just an Apple fanboy," is a dismissive debate tactic, used to imply that someone is so blinded by their love for all things Apple that they'd say or do anything to support the company and its products. I don't deny that there are Apple users like that out there, but "fanboy" has been spread so thin that almost anyone with a positive opinion of Apple's products is saddled with that label. It's even reached the mainstream press now, and as all internet veterans know, once something goes mainstream, it's played out.

"Fanboy" is so tired that I've started something new: if I see any anti-Apple argument longer than a couple sentences or so, I start scanning for that word first. If I see "fanboy" written anywhere, I don't even bother reading the rest. The worst thing about "fanboy" is it's really just the pot calling the kettle black. If you're willing to dismiss someone else's opinions because you think they have some kind of cult-like obsession, there's a good chance you've got one, too.


2. Kool-Aid


Speaking of cult-like obsessions, I've lost count of how many times I've been accused of "drinking the Apple Kool-Aid." This cliche got its start after nearly 1000 members of the Jonestown cult drank poison-laced Flavor-Aid back in 1978. It's meant to imply blind devotion, with the idea that Mac users are all members of some kind of crazy, wide-eyed commune with Steve Jobs as its inspirational but depraved leader.

I'll admit we don't help matters much ourselves: lots of Mac users turn into platform evangelists, sometimes to an irritating degree, and we've even adopted the term "Cult of Mac" to describe behaviors that really could be described as "fanboyism." But just like "fanboy," the "Kool-Aid" thing gets said at least 100,000 times a day on the internet, for the same reason as "fanboy" -- a means of dismissing the other side's points because you think they've been brainwashed.

Guys, "Kool-Aid" has lost its punch. Besides, I prefer the Apple Colt 45. It works every time.


3. No games

Ever heard this one? "Good luck playing games on your overpriced Fisher Price laptop, oh wait, there aren't any, hahaha." My copies of Civilization IV, Bioshock, and now Portal say otherwise. Macs do have far fewer games than Windows-running PCs, and even though Valve just launched Steam for the Mac, PCs will probably always have more games than Macs. That said, things have improved since the early- to mid-2000s -- the last time this argument had some merit. Fewer and fewer AAA titles are PC-only these days, and considering how successful Steam for the Mac has been so far, the days of the Mac as a neglected gaming platform are over.


Besides, show me how many PC or Mac gamers only game on their computers. I've got a PS3, Wii, DS, and iPhone, with a grand total of over 150 games between all of those platforms. Gaming on my Mac is kind of an afterthought; until Portal came out for the Mac in early May, I think the last time I did any serious gaming on my MacBook Pro was in December of last year.

My consoles are for games, my Mac is for work, and my iPhone falls somewhere in the middle. But that doesn't mean I never game on my Mac because there's "no games" for it -- there's now more games for the Mac than I even have time to demo, much less play.


4. One-button mouse

This one is older than dirt and only half as tasty. What's funniest about the "one-button mouse" argument is that Apple's Magic Mouse and trackpads now essentially have no buttons, so we should be talking about a "no button mouse" instead, right?

I'll admit that Apple's obsession with killing off buttons is a little weird, but it's had zero effect on my workflow. My MacBook Pro's trackpad is configurable to an almost excessive degree thanks to multitouch and tools like BetterTouchTool. Right now I can click, right-click, middle-click, scroll, three, four, or five-finger swipe in four different directions, pinch, expand, rotate, four-finger tap... and those are just the options I've enabled. With multitouch, my trackpad can recognize up to eleven different points of contact, meaning the possibilities are nearly endless. All of that on a trackpad with only one button.

Say what you will about Apple's war on buttons, but I've played all the way through both Bioshock and Portal using just my MacBook Pro's built-in trackpad, with no external mouse. That's not something I'd even attempt to do on a non-Apple trackpad, no matter how many buttons it comes with.



5. Any reference to 1984

Ever since the App Store launched, with its draconian and often Byzantine rules on what is or is not acceptable in the store, roughly 574,892 articles have come out retreading the 1984 theme. Apple kind of brought this one on themselves with that Super Bowl ad 26 years ago; iconic as it was, you just knew people would someday jump at the chance to get all "ironic" and say that Apple is now the "Big Brother" they once decried. Which is exactly what's happened, of course, because not a week goes by now without at least five articles mentioning Steve Jobs and Big Brother in the same sentence.

Here's a quick challenge: name the protagonist, or any other character besides Big Brother, from Orwell's novel... without using Google or Wikipedia. If you can do it, then kudos to you: go right on using that epic cliche of a comparison. Although last time I checked, nobody's going to storm your house, put a gun to your head, and direct you to store.apple.com and force you to buy anything it sells. Additionally, Apple still doesn't have an equivalent of Room 101 at the Cupertino campus. Maybe they'll announce it at WWDC.



6. "Apple is the new Microsoft"

Apple isn't the new Microsoft. You know why not? Because other than Windows 7 and Office, the "new" Microsoft doesn't know how to make a successful product. The Zune tanked. The KIN will tank. Windows Phone Blake's 7 (or whatever they're calling it this week) is going to tank. The Xbox, for all the market penetration it has, is a loss leader for Microsoft even after five years on the shelves. Internet Explorer's market share, which was overwhelming ten years ago, is inching downward toward 50%. Apple's market cap just surpassed Microsoft's, and the reason why had just as much to do with Microsoft's financial free-fall as it has Apple's ascendance.

If anything, Apple is more like the old Microsoft. So fat with cash it can buy just about whatever it wants. Dominance in at least one industry, thanks to the iPod. A tight grip on public mindshare of what a smartphone is and is capable of doing, because of the iPhone. And yes, I'll admit it: a growing overconfidence, bordering on arrogance.

Apple isn't the "new" Microsoft. It's got far more in common with the Microsoft of the mid-90s, when it was on top of its game and had yet to be smacked down by regulators or competitors. But the comparisons run thin when you look at the numbers behind them, because unlike mid-90s Microsoft, Apple doesn't have a monopoly on anything. Worldwide Mac marketshare is near 5%. The iPhone's worldwide marketshare among smartphones is about 16%, and something like 2-3% when we're talking about cellphones as a whole. iTunes Store sales account for about 27% of music sold in the US. The iPod is the closest thing Apple has to a monopoly, but even that has a 70% or so marketshare -- not the massive dominance of Windows or Office.


Mid-90s Microsoft was a colossus, capable of steamrolling the competition into dust. Its reputation was earned and deserved -- I mean, it got to the point that Bill Gates even demolished Homer Simpson's half-baked little startup. The Apple of 2010 wields a lot of power, and it sometimes does it in a very heavy-handed manner... but name one thing Apple's done that even comes close to what Microsoft did to Netscape Navigator.


7. Smug Mac users

This last one needs to die for a different reason: because unlike any of the others, this one is often true. Mac geeks, you're all guilty of this. So am I, right now, in this article. There's me, something like 700 words ago: "I'd never try to use the trackpad on one of their laptops, hur hur hur." We look down our noses at Windows and computers without Apple logos on them. We justify paying a little more for our Macs by talking about build quality, reliability, and the ability to run OS X with the same borderline snooty tones as BMW owners describing the merits of their cars versus a Ford. "Macs never crash," we lie. "OS X runs so much better than Windows," we say through clenched teeth, right before adjusting our ascots.


The "Get a Mac" ads didn't do our image any favors. I'm glad those ads have been retired, because I hated them for the same reason a lot of Apple haters did. John Hodgeman's PC character was a loser, but he was a loveable loser, the kind of character a lot of us geeks can identify with. Justin Long's Mac character, whether intentionally or not, radiated smugness. I may be a Mac user, but I'd rather have a beer with "PC" than frappuccinos with "Mac" any day.

I think this smugness, whether it's perceived or actual smugness, is what fuels most of the anti-Apple hatred these days. If you don't own an iPhone and have no intention of buying one, then it's no skin off your back if Apple runs its App Store like "Stalinist Russia" or "Nazi Germany" or "North Korea" or whatever bit of hyperbole is in vogue this week. If you don't own a Mac and don't want to, then why does the opinion of a measly 5% of the computing world even matter? I'm willing to bet it's in large part because of the Smug.

So there you have it: six cliches that need to die because they're inherently dumb, and one that needs to die because it's sometimes true. Go ahead and keep using them if you want, but at this point it's like busting out the "cabbage patch" in a dance contest: may be good for laughs, but no points awarded. As always, feel free to disagree with me, because what do I know? I'm just a smug, Kool-Aid drinking fanboy, who never gets to play any games on his one-button computer thanks to Big Brother Steve and the New Microsoft.



TOPICS: Computers/Internet; Education; Religion; Test Topic, Ignore It
KEYWORDS: 1984; 1buttonmouse; apple; bsod; fanboi; fanboy; flamewar; haters; ilovebillgates; iwanthim; iwanthimbad; koolaid; m; mac; microoft; microsoft; microsoftfanboys; newmicrosoft; nogames; smug
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To: PJammers
Oh and because I bought the Gateway I qualified for a 50% coupon for a printer

I got $100 towards a printer when I bought my iMac and bought a $100 printer -- in effect free. Around now they're giving away free iPods to student Mac buyers.

81 posted on 06/01/2010 11:53:41 AM PDT by antiRepublicrat
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To: antiRepublicrat
What you malign as cheesy is good enuff for most people

That's the kicker. Apple simply doesn't sell in the "good enough" market.

80% of computer buyers will be happy with a good enuff computer. Apple cannot survive by getting a proportion of the remaining 20%. So this is where Apple's evil coercion, peer pressure and propagandizing come into play. Where buyers are bamboozled into buying too much computer and paying Apple hundreds more for it

Buying too much computer means buying one with expensive bells and whistles and more powerful than what you need and paying hundreds more for this.

82 posted on 06/01/2010 1:15:23 PM PDT by dennisw (History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid - Gen Eisenhower)
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To: antiRepublicrat
It takes me 80 minutes to get the new computer prepped and up and running and my friend saves about $400

Now imagine your friend didn't have you, was paying Best Buy or some other outfit to do it, at $$$ per hour, go slow to earn more $$$.

I'm sure that all over America there are kids and others who will take your  new computer and get rid of trial-ware, will slap on a free antivirus. By default you have windows Firewall there and Windows defender which are very good. It seems that preinstalled programs like MacAfee insert their own firewall so after deleting MacAfee you must make sure windows firewall is turned on.

By default Windows 7 will steer you towards automatic updates. I like to approve any update but for friends I make sure it's on automatic

What I'm saying is that locking down a new computer can be done very quickly. Not a big deal and nothing you have to panic over and run out and buy a Mac for.

One dicey thing is making restore disks. The situation is very fluid and sometime the computer comes with them and sometimes you have to make them. A newbie who skips making them can get into big trouble. But buying actual restore disks can be cheap. $30 or so from HP. My nephew got into trouble and one call to Dell was enough for them to send out free restore disks. But he got it done the next day by restoring from the recovery partition

83 posted on 06/01/2010 2:26:41 PM PDT by dennisw (History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid - Gen Eisenhower)
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To: dennisw
The situation is very fluid and sometime the computer comes with them and sometimes you have to make them.

Time Machine, the OS X backup utility, also acts to restore your machine. Every Mac comes with a full OS disk (there's a differentiator). Plug that in, reinstall with drive format (which doesn't take forever as on Windows). At the end you'll be asked if you have a Time Machine backup. Plug in the backup drive and you're automatically presented with options of what to restore to what point in time. One option will bring your system back to as it was including all installed programs and user accounts.

And what kind of expertise did it take to set all this up? Buy an external hard drive, plug it in, and click "Yes" when asked whether you want to use it for backup. It is literally that simple.

84 posted on 06/01/2010 2:37:25 PM PDT by antiRepublicrat
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To: Swordmaker

“Can’t run Windows software” — oops, that only applies to Wintel boxes. ;’)


85 posted on 06/01/2010 4:23:23 PM PDT by SunkenCiv ("Fools learn from experience. I prefer to learn from the experience of others." -- Otto von Bismarck)
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To: dennisw; antiRepublicrat
That's the kicker. Apple simply doesn't sell in the "good enough" market.
80% of computer buyers will be happy with a good enuff computer. Apple cannot survive by getting a proportion of the remaining 20%.
The reality, so we're told, is that - by dollar volume - AAPL sells most of the PC's in the country.

86 posted on 06/01/2010 4:34:36 PM PDT by conservatism_IS_compassion ( DRAFT PALIN)
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To: dennisw

Where does Apple bamboozle people? I have had Apple employees try to talk me into a Macbook over a Macbook Pro before. I don’t think that is true at any level.

I would like to hear examples of evil coercion and peer pressure (from a corporation especially) as well. To act like Apple advertising their computers as superior is bad is just silly.


87 posted on 06/01/2010 6:58:58 PM PDT by Mr. Blonde (You ever thought about being weird for a living?)
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To: dennisw
Apple cannot survive by getting a proportion of the remaining 20%.

On the contrary, Apple seems to be surviving quite well, better than other OEMs. Apple has 91% of the $1,000+ market, and has a higher profit margin per unit than other OEMs.

Buying too much computer means buying one with expensive bells and whistles and more powerful than what you need and paying hundreds more for this.

Quite simply, with Apple you pay for superior design, construction, integration and support. Other than that, how many bells and whistles, and how much power, a consumer "needs" is up to that consumer. That's his value judgment, not yours or mine. It is that value judgment that will determine whether the higher price of an Apple computer, or any other premium computer, is a good deal for him.

I of course always have my caveat. For any Apple system with user-upgradable memory or hard drives, always order the base amount from Apple and add more from Newegg.

88 posted on 06/01/2010 7:28:07 PM PDT by antiRepublicrat
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To: Talisker
Apple is run by Leftists.

And like Microsoft is operated by those espousing American ideals loudly....right? And MS founder Bill Gates is left wing nut case now using his fortune to fund wonderful things....and believes in eugenics (sp) and population control (is that redundant?) and all that that entails. AND....Gates was a thief initially. Jobs was rather naive...nonetheless trusted Gates.

I'd like to see more choices more innovations from DIFFERENT people but have you ever noticed, once fortunes are made by some individuals in their market of choice, that market becomes impossible to penetrate or form any competition..... /rant off

89 posted on 06/01/2010 8:25:49 PM PDT by Outlaw Woman (Blessed Is The Nation Whose God is the Lord. Psalm 33:12)
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To: Publius Valerius
Ok, I'll bite: what makes you say that? I went to Apple's website and built an iMac. It cost $2000 with no upgrades. I went to HP's site and built an similar computer. $1,149.98, including HP's overpriced monitor that I could buy elsewhere for less. Oh, and I got a free upgrade in RAM, so the HP actually has better specs. And HP's optical drive is faster.

In what way is that HP tower an all-in-one form factor computer? You are not comparing like to like computers at all. You are not providing any information at all on what components, specs on the monitor or its capabilities. Is that monitor capable of 179º viewing??? I sincerely doubt it. You said you "built" an iMac with no upgrades? How do you do that????? You either buy an off the shelf iMac or you build one with upgrades. You don't have it both ways.

90 posted on 06/02/2010 2:48:19 AM PDT by Swordmaker (Remember, the proper pronunciation of IE isAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEE!Apple could simply require that any iPho)
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To: antiRepublicrat

Time Machine, the OS X backup utility>>>>>

The way you describe doing a restore on a Mac sounds very good and idiot proof


91 posted on 06/02/2010 3:07:47 AM PDT by dennisw (History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid - Gen Eisenhower)
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To: Swordmaker

http://www.staples.com/MSI-20-All-in-One-Touch-PC/product-nr_866866?cmArea=SC3:CG71:DP4119:CL161746

Here is a 20” all in one computer/LCD combo—— $549 -—Touchscreen too


92 posted on 06/02/2010 3:12:31 AM PDT by dennisw (History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid - Gen Eisenhower)
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To: Mr. Blonde
Where does Apple bamboozle people? I have had Apple employees try to talk me into a Macbook over a Macbook Pro before. I don’t think that is true at any level.

All computer makers naturally try to up sell. So do employees in Best Buy and other places. By this I mean spend more money getting a fancier computer than what you need. Lets get real here. To do e-mail and surf the internet, to use Word, you don't need to spend $750 which is what keyboard, mouse, LCD and mac-mini will cost you minimum! For a small LCD say 20"

I would like to hear examples of evil coercion and peer pressure (from a corporation especially) as well. To act like Apple advertising their computers as superior is bad is just silly.

Their advertising says it all. You are a moron to buy a PC. Shown in those "I'm a Mac. I'm a PC" TV advertisements designed to amplify peer pressure/ Among the young that you are so uncool to buy a Windows computer. That you are a loser.

Apple loves to feed this peer pressure

93 posted on 06/02/2010 3:23:20 AM PDT by dennisw (History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid - Gen Eisenhower)
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To: dennisw
Here is a 20” all in one computer/LCD combo—— $549 -—Touchscreen too

So? Now, Dennisw, upgrade that AMD 1.5GHz Processor to a 3.06GHz Intel Core2Duo, make the screen a 21.5" instead of a 20", Upgrade the resolution from 1600x900 to 1920x1080 while you are at it, upgrade the HD to 500GB from the 320GB it has now, Increase the RAM to 4GB, and while you are at it make it DDR3 instead of DDR2, add BlueTooth, and THEN see what that system would cost... and compare it to the base model iMac at $1199. Which has all those upgrades standard AND comes with a suite of world class software that is entirely missing on the MSI-20 inch PC.

94 posted on 06/02/2010 3:34:20 AM PDT by Swordmaker (Remember, the proper pronunciation of IE isAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEE!Apple could simply require that any iPho)
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To: conservatism_IS_compassion
 
80% of computer buyers will be happy with a good enuff computer. Apple cannot survive by getting a proportion of the remaining 20%. So they poach and steal from the 80% who can by perfectly well with lets say a $500 Dell laptop my friends girl friend just bought. She could have saved $100 at Dell refurbished but she wasn't listening to me. Why on earth would she buy an Apple 13.3" laptop at twice the price when she has told me she only uses it for the internet? That woman is who Apple is targeting and is a prime buying demographic for Apple

That's the kicker. Apple simply doesn't sell in the "good enough" market.

You couldn't be more wrong. Their entire strategy is to target the "good enuff" people and brainwash them into buying far more computer than than they need and to pay Apple hundreds more for this privilege

The Freepers here who buy Apple products are mostly demanding customers (power users) who need a superior computer, not just a good enuff computer. So they are honest and legit Apple customers

95 posted on 06/02/2010 3:35:11 AM PDT by dennisw (History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid - Gen Eisenhower)
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To: Swordmaker
So? Now, Dennisw, upgrade that AMD 1.5GHz Processor to a 3.06GHz Intel Core2Duo, make the screen a 21.5" instead of a 20", Upgrade the resolution from 1600x900 to 1920x1080 while you are at it, upgrade the HD to 500GB from the 320GB it has now, Increase the RAM to 4GB, and while you are at it make it DDR3 instead of DDR2, add BlueTooth, and THEN see what that system would cost... and compare it to the base model iMac at $1199. Which has all those upgrades standard AND comes with a suite of world class software that is entirely missing on the MSI-20 inch PC.

For the thousandth time you are trotting out Apple overkill. 
You may need and want that but the average computer user (70-80% of buyers) can get by perfectly well with the MSI model at half the price. I can see blue tooth as a minor Mac advantage

Personally I want a larger LCD and there are plenty of all in one computers out there with larger LCDs and at half the Apple price for same size LCD
Acer is making incredible LCDs these days and at very nice prices. You don't need an Apple to get great LCD displays. For me, I always have my LCD connected digitally to my computer and have been doing so since about 1999 or earlier when Compaq came out with a pre-DVI digital connector

96 posted on 06/02/2010 3:45:25 AM PDT by dennisw (History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid - Gen Eisenhower)
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To: Gun142

“Let’s build a computer to fit my needs, with the components I want, at the prices I’m willing to pay, then decide which OS to put on it.”

And you can then put the Gun142 brand on it, promote it, and watch it completely fail to develop into a quarter-trillion-dollar company.

Most users don’t want to DIY, they want a _system_ that _works_. Only Apple does that (remember Microsoft only makes the OS).


97 posted on 06/02/2010 3:59:33 AM PDT by ctdonath2 (+)
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To: dennisw

So what has your experience in Apple Stores been since it differentiates from mine? How do you know so much better what someone needs? When does the generally longer useful life of a Mac come into play?


98 posted on 06/02/2010 5:32:57 AM PDT by Mr. Blonde (You ever thought about being weird for a living?)
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To: Mr. Blonde

So what has your experience in Apple Stores been since it differentiates from mine? How do you know so much better what someone needs? When does the generally longer useful life of a Mac come into play?>>>>>>>>

Not been in one ever and I don’t have to. I am talking to and helping people all the time who have modest computing needs. I sometimes repair their computers. You would be amazed at how unsophisticated people are such as..... Not knowing how to right click a hyper-link so it will open in a new tab or window. I teach them how but soon they are back to their old ways

If someone refuses to open the hyperlink in a new tab or window when it is needed..... LOL LOL LOL.... They sure as heck don’t need to be buying a Mac-Mini/LCD combo for 750$ or so. I am helping those kind of people all the time plus some folks who operate on a somewhat higher level


99 posted on 06/02/2010 5:58:35 AM PDT by dennisw (History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid - Gen Eisenhower)
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To: Mr. Blonde

Why would I send someone who can’t properly open a hyperlink to an Apple store? They would pay at least twice as much for a computer above their level. With an Apple laptop more like 3x as much as an HP or Dell laptop that will be a good fit with their skillz and needs


100 posted on 06/02/2010 6:01:21 AM PDT by dennisw (History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid - Gen Eisenhower)
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