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Dog Offers To Help Clean Up Oil Spill
http://bignews.biz/?id=875672&keys=dogs-Obama-Bieber-oil ^

Posted on 05/25/2010 8:28:37 AM PDT by Kensy1

Bo Hoefinger, the dog best known as the author of Bad To The Bone: Memoir of a Rebel Doggie Blogger, has offered his services to clean up the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

As has been clearly documented, dog hair soaks up the oily remnants of drilling platforms gone bad better than sponges, handy wipes, and even wildlife. Quite simply, dog hair is to oil as paper towels are to pee in a living room.

With everyone getting angry at the lack of success in containing the oil spill, Hoefinger decided to do something about it.

“I’m not here to point a paw at anybody. Not British Petroleum, not the government, and not even Charlie, the local tomcat. Maybe it’s because I don’t have any Irish Setter in my bloodlines; you know how much they like to point their paws.

“But when I saw the great work that was being done by the Matter of Trust folks in getting pet hair to help clean up the spill, it spurred me to action.Besides, if I want to be the ambassador for shelter dogs, shouldn’t I help out too?”

And that’s what he offered to do.

“I like swimming. I like the gulf. I’d like to go swimming in the Gulf and soak up some sun, and a bunch of premium grade oil.How could anyone refuse my offer?”

Aides to Portuguese Water Dog in charge Bo Obama, are said to be sniffing through the proposal before making any public comments.

Hoefinger likes his prospects although there is some disagreement among environmentalists as to whether the blogging dog’s idea is a good one.

Mothball Morris from The Cat Litter Disposable said, “The question you have to ask yourself is whether Bo will do more harm than good. Read his book and you’ll find he has a propensity to cause more damage than intended.

“What’s to keep him from peeing in the gulf, or worse, pooping in it? This could lead to two environmental disasters rather than just the one we’re dealing with now.”

Ultimately it comes down to approvals;the first from Bo Obama and the administration, and the second from Bo’s parents.

Bo’s mother main concern is safety and wonders whether it will impede the amount of help he can actually give.

“If he’s to be safe, which means not swimming until an hour after he’s eaten, he’ll never have enough water time to do any good. Bo is a snacker and he needs his Milkbone (the big ones) every hour and a half. You do the math,” she said.

Although a gracious offer, Hoefinger does have concerns.

“I know I’ll be very tired from the swims, but I’m more worried about my hair. The oily, grunge look may work in Seattle, but in my home town the bitches like the Justin Bieberpoofy hair look. With Bieber fever infecting the canine community, it will be tough, but I’m committed to the cause.”

Time will tell whether Bo will be allowed to help those humans unable to help themselves. If not, he urges everyone to help the cause and work with the Matter of Trust folks today.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Outdoors; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: dogs; environment; obama; oilspill

1 posted on 05/25/2010 8:28:37 AM PDT by Kensy1
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To: Kensy1

nobody ever said comedy was easy.


2 posted on 05/25/2010 8:31:23 AM PDT by Thurston_Howell_III (Ahoy polloi... where did you come from, a scotch ad?)
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To: Kensy1

But they have yet to try Denny’s pancakes. They soak up everything!


3 posted on 05/25/2010 8:32:40 AM PDT by anonsquared
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To: Kensy1

4 posted on 05/25/2010 8:56:46 AM PDT by Clock King (Ellisworth Toohey was right: My head's gonna explode.)
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To: anonsquared
But they have yet to try Denny’s pancakes.

They haven't tried Sham Wows either.

5 posted on 05/25/2010 9:00:28 AM PDT by stars & stripes forever ( Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness)
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To: Kensy1

Hmm, I didn’t know dog hair was absorbent, or I would have been collecting Swiper’s! He’s blowing his winter coat right now, I probably could have sent in a couple of pounds...


6 posted on 05/25/2010 9:55:46 AM PDT by LongElegantLegs ( I have nothing better to do than sit around all night watching a lunatic not turn into a werewolf.)
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To: anonsquared
But they have yet to try Denny’s pancakes. They soak up everything!

So true. In fact, one time I was sitting in a Denny's and watching the pancakes in my grand slam breakfast swallow my bacon whole...truly unbelievable. ;)

7 posted on 05/25/2010 9:59:13 AM PDT by Andonius_99 (There are two sides to every issue. One is right, the other is wrong; but the middle is always evil.)
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