Bear Bites Off Woman's Fingers

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel ^ | March 5th 2010 | Associated Press

[LukeL]

Manitowoc - A zoo in Manitowoc was shut down for the day after a bear bit off at least two of a woman's fingers.

Police say the 47-year-old had gone past barriers and warning signs at the Lincoln Park Zoo and was apparently trying to feed two bears about 11:30 a.m. Friday.

[Revolting cat!]

Were there witnesses? Who fingered the bear?

[Allegra]

ROFL!!

[xsrdx]

Here's another maneater - er, womaneater - to add to your list of captive animals to send to the taxidermist.

This bloodthirsty monster had the temerity to bite off the human fingers inserted in his mouth, fer pete's sake.

[Revolting cat!]

Two lions talking (in a New Yorker cartoon):

"I'm trying to eat more vegetarians"

[kalee]

Well mission accomplished, she certainly fed them.

[cripplecreek]

The woman shall henceforth be known as “Nubbs, the 8 fingered idiot”.

[OregonRancher]

I hold your hand in mine, dear,
I press it to my lips.
I take a healthy bite
From your dainty fingertips.

My joy would be complete, dear,
If you were only here,
But still I keep your hand
As a precious souvenir.

The night you died I cut it off.
I really don’t know why.
For now each time I kiss it
I get bloodstains on my tie.

I’m sorry now I killed you,
For our love was something fine,
And till they come to get me
I shall hold your hand in mine.

Tom Lehrer

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

Police say the 47-year-old had gone past barriers and warning signs at the Lincoln Park Zoo and was apparently trying to feed successfully fed two bears about 11:30 a.m. Friday.

[RichInOC]

I CAN HAS HOOMIN?

[gitmo]

My 14 year old son and I were browsing a backpacking store recently. I showed him a bear bell, and explained to him how they work.

“You know the last thing in the world you want to do is walk up on a bear and surprise him, right?”

“Right, Dad.”

“So what you do is you tie a bear bell on the bear and that way you’ll hear the bear and will know not to walk up on him and scare him.”

“Ohh. That makes sense, Dad.”

[DoorGunner]

At the Fairbanks (Alaska) zoo, back in the 70s — they had 4 or 5 Grizzly bears. The ONLY thing between them and us was an ordinary chain link fence. It was maybe ten feet tall, but any one of them could have bashed its way through it, in a trice.

DG

[Jack Hydrazine]

Did she bring a picnic basket with her?

[SWAMPSNIPER]

That’s what bears do alright, just like gators eat toy poodles!

[beckysueb]

OMG! That is funny as heck!