These are the kinds of things that let me know I am not just ready for the Kingdom of Heaven.
I am trying my very best everyday to learn to forgive and move on. It is VERY VERY difficult.
God wants us to love and forgive those who repent and seems like this man has repented.
However the difference between God and me, your dashing Software Engineer, is that if someone tried to kill me, I would still hate him.
Yes, I said the “H” word. That is exactly why I need to pray a lot to get better.
Keep your eye fixed upon Jesus, and the more that you fall in love with His image (spiritual image, not physical image) — the more you will yearn to be like Him.
Spend time immersed in His Word, read 1 Corinthians 13 (read this one in a modern translation as the KJV uses charity instead of love — the modern meaning of charity has been subverted), read the stories of God’s love for His creation as expressed through Jesus’ parables, etc. How He said that He came for the sick and not the healthy, for people like you and I.
And remember that He said that by the love we show, all men will know that we are His disciples. That’s the mark of a Christian.
Your heart will change. Run hard after Him and keep an eternal perspective. This life is short, we are all appointed to die. And remember, this change is done by Him, not your own effort. Which is why if you try to forgive on your own — you will fail.
I’ve experienced this sort of transformation in some profound ways.