Man says he wasn't giving a peep show -- he had “explosive diarrhea”

sun sentinel ^ | 11-5-09 | naples daily news

[dinoparty]

Did the suspect really use the word “explosive”? LOL.

[dinoparty]

There are certain questions about this that need to be asked, but I do not have the courage to ask them.

[DJ MacWoW]

I wonder if this guy has IBS. It is unpleasant and strikes randomly. There’s no time to make it to a bathroom sometimes.

[wazoo1031]

Ummm, Ping?!

[I Buried My Guns]

No. emergency man protocol dictates that in a stuation as severe as this, you do your explosive diarrhea and use your underwear as TP. If you fold it right, you can get 4 good wipes before the underwear must be jettisioned.

This happened to me last month while visting Hawaii. We were driving back from the far side of the island after eating a rich dinner/dessert. I absolutely had to go (lactose intolerance maybe?), and there were no services for miles.

Long story short, I tried to hide in a sugarcane field, and used the technique illustrated above. It worked. Got 4 good wipes, which was good enough to get us back to the B&B. I thought I had hid myself pretty good until I got back to the car, and my wife had a horrified look on her face; she saw it all. Her comment to all my friends after the fact was "I guess now I know where BROWN sugar comes from!"

[b4its2late]

[dfwgator]

[netmilsmom]

You are very brave for sharing that!

[ErnBatavia]

[antiRepublicrat]

Explosive? Call EOD!

[D Rider]

embarrassment on top of embarrassment on top of public embarrassment.

[stuartcr]

At least his soiled clothing will provide evidence that he did have that problem.

[goseminoles]

Thanks for sharing! I think as one gets older, we get a little more reluctant to “squeeze” a fart. Never know what’s gonna happen.

[I Buried My Guns]

I don't mind sharing a story if it for the greater good of all. This is one of those inspiring, heartwarming tales that I share for the good of all mankind. When these epic occurences like this happen folks tend to panic; my vignette will hopefully give folks a light at the end of the tunnel and a tactic for beating the raging $hits head on. Don't be a victim of the raging Shits!

I hope my story helps others. I should mention that the "Use your underwear as TP in emergencies" thing is an old concept that predates me. An old timer tought me it when I was a kid. He did not demonstrate it, though. Just told me.

FYI: Obviously, you'll get more wipes with boxers than briefs.

[goat granny]

I have to agree with much of what you said...With IBS explosive is just the right word to use...Been dealing with it for many years, finally got a doctor that could prescibe medication that helps........If it happened in a parking lot I really dont know how I would handle it...I don’t think in public, but do the best you can in the car....yuk...

[mirkwood]

I just got home. You got me laughing again.

[mirkwood]

And I was enjoying my chocolate Malto Meal up to that point!

Hhahaahhahahahahahahhhah I am crying laughing so hard..

[Sudetenland]

Just hit me...you know what should be on the back of that shirt?

ASK ME ABOUT MY PROJECTILE VOMITING...:)

[montyspython]

Trouser chili...