Man says he wasn't giving a peep show -- he had “explosive diarrhea”

sun sentinel ^ | 11-5-09 | naples daily news

[WOBBLY BOB]

A Lehigh Acres man was arrested in Collier County Monday on charges of Indecent Exposure in Public after he allegedly exposed himself to two women in a Walmart parking lot.

The incident occurred at 5420 Juliet Blvd. in Naples.

According to a Collier County Sheriff’s Office report:

David Todd Napodano, 42, told investigators he was found naked in his van because he had “explosive diarrhea” and was using his underwear to clean himself.

The victims told investigators they were looking for their vehicle in the parking lot when they saw Napodano naked in his van and exposing himself to them.

[dinoparty]

Did the suspect really use the word “explosive”? LOL.

[dinoparty]

There are certain questions about this that need to be asked, but I do not have the courage to ask them.

[DJ MacWoW]

I wonder if this guy has IBS. It is unpleasant and strikes randomly. There’s no time to make it to a bathroom sometimes.

[wazoo1031]

Ummm, Ping?!

[I Buried My Guns]

No. emergency man protocol dictates that in a stuation as severe as this, you do your explosive diarrhea and use your underwear as TP. If you fold it right, you can get 4 good wipes before the underwear must be jettisioned.

This happened to me last month while visting Hawaii. We were driving back from the far side of the island after eating a rich dinner/dessert. I absolutely had to go (lactose intolerance maybe?), and there were no services for miles.

Long story short, I tried to hide in a sugarcane field, and used the technique illustrated above. It worked. Got 4 good wipes, which was good enough to get us back to the B&B. I thought I had hid myself pretty good until I got back to the car, and my wife had a horrified look on her face; she saw it all. Her comment to all my friends after the fact was "I guess now I know where BROWN sugar comes from!"

[b4its2late]

[dfwgator]

[netmilsmom]

You are very brave for sharing that!

[ErnBatavia]

[antiRepublicrat]

Explosive? Call EOD!

[D Rider]

embarrassment on top of embarrassment on top of public embarrassment.

[stuartcr]

At least his soiled clothing will provide evidence that he did have that problem.

[goseminoles]

Thanks for sharing! I think as one gets older, we get a little more reluctant to “squeeze” a fart. Never know what’s gonna happen.

[I Buried My Guns]

I don't mind sharing a story if it for the greater good of all. This is one of those inspiring, heartwarming tales that I share for the good of all mankind. When these epic occurences like this happen folks tend to panic; my vignette will hopefully give folks a light at the end of the tunnel and a tactic for beating the raging $hits head on. Don't be a victim of the raging Shits!

I hope my story helps others. I should mention that the "Use your underwear as TP in emergencies" thing is an old concept that predates me. An old timer tought me it when I was a kid. He did not demonstrate it, though. Just told me.

FYI: Obviously, you'll get more wipes with boxers than briefs.

[goat granny]

I have to agree with much of what you said...With IBS explosive is just the right word to use...Been dealing with it for many years, finally got a doctor that could prescibe medication that helps........If it happened in a parking lot I really dont know how I would handle it...I don’t think in public, but do the best you can in the car....yuk...

[mirkwood]

I just got home. You got me laughing again.

[mirkwood]

And I was enjoying my chocolate Malto Meal up to that point!

Hhahaahhahahahahahahhhah I am crying laughing so hard..

[Sudetenland]

Just hit me...you know what should be on the back of that shirt?

ASK ME ABOUT MY PROJECTILE VOMITING...:)

[montyspython]

Trouser chili...