10. News: U.S. CDC says new flu hitting mostly younger people (Reuters)
Comic relief: You’re so old that even a novel virus doesn’t want you.
9. The elbow bump is back.
This is cooler than the terrorist fist bump, no?
Posted on 10/23/2009 5:49:32 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Well, I for one, am just getting over the dreaded flu...and I couldn't tell ya if it was the seasonal or H1N1 (Swine) flu....it felt the same to me. My fever lasted for 2 and a half days and got as high as 103.8°. But I'm still alive.....and well, seeing all the chatter lately on Facebook, it seems I'm not the only one recovering from this.......flu, nor am I the only one questioning which one is it....
So....without further ado, todays SILLY THREAD..................
Top 10 reasons not to worry about the swine flu
10. News: U.S. CDC says new flu hitting mostly younger people (Reuters)
Comic relief: You’re so old that even a novel virus doesn’t want you.
9. The elbow bump is back.
This is cooler than the terrorist fist bump, no?
Photo source: Doctors learn elbow greeting to lower swine flu risk
8. The World Health Organization's (WHO) response to swine flu gives “businesses, governments and individuals practice for when a more fatal pathogen does threaten the globe.” SCENARIOS: What the new swine flu might do (Reuters)
7. H1N1 is nicknamed pig flu, not ‘pigs flew. When pigs do fly --and snowballs have a chance in hell – that’s when we’re really in trouble.
6. Don’t worry, just twitter now. (background music: Don't Worry, Be Happy) Twitter is great for watching uninformed panic unfold live.(XCCD.com
5. House (Hugh Laurie) is on the job…
4. Comedian Lee Camp says so …
Why NOT to Worry About Swine Flu
From Anthrax to Ebola, we've seen it before.
3. The swine flu is an economic stimulant, not limited to escalating sales in alcoholic beverages, pharmaceuticals, junk food, art supplies and surgical masks – with some consumers splurging in these industries simultaneously.
2. PETA was right after all….
And....the Number One reason not to worry about swine flu…
The world is going to end in 2012…enjoy life now.
Plus, swine flu masks are cheaper than a six-pack of beer....
In the meanwhile, here is something to take to help if you get it
HAPPY FRIDAY, ONE & ALL!
Swinedler's List
Pig Trouble In Little Mexico
Silence of the Hogs
In Ham's Way
Babe: Death In The City
Swiney Hog, Demon Butcher Of Fleet Street
Memoirs Of A Butcher
Snout Of Africa
All will star Kevin Bacon
Little Johnny
The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history.”
“Who said, ‘Give me liberty or give me death’?”
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Johnny – a bright Navajo Indian boy – who had his hand up: “Patrick Henry, 1775” he said.
“Very good! Who said, ‘Government of the People, by the People, for the People shall not perish from the Earth’?”
Again, no response except from Little Johnny, “Abraham Lincoln, 1863.”
The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed. Little Johnny knows more about history than you do.”
She heard a loud whisper: “Screw the Indians!”
“Who said that?” she demanded.
Little Johnny put his hand up, “General Custer, 1876.”
At that point, a student in the back said, “I’m gonna puke.”
The teacher glares around and asks, “All right!!! Now who said that!?”
Again, Little Johnny says, “George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.”
Now furious, another student yells, “Oh yeah? Suck this!!!”
Little Johnny jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, “Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!”
Now, with almost mob hysteria someone said, “You little shit. If you say anything else, I’ll kill you.”
Little Johnny frantically yells at the top of his voice, “Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him, 2004.”
The teacher fainted.
And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, “Oh shit, we’re screwed!”
Little Johnny said quietly, “The American people, November 4th, 2008.”
LOL Man !!! that’s that old photo that used to go around here like a decade ago, remember that. Wasn’t he an actual freeper, I’ve been looking for that photo forever ...
If your gonna take a pie to the face, it may as well be a Pi pie...
Bump.
I’m with you, brother!
Not willing to stop dating Ms. Piggie, Kermit the Frog finally succumbs to the Swine Flu. RIP
My son brought it home from school. He shared it with Mama. After a week little sister and Dad got it too. That was three days I would rather not ever go through again. On the bright side, the kids can brag about being the first ones on the block.
Borrowed from http://schlockmercenary.com/ (forgive me, Howard, I had to share)
“Do you want to defuse some of the hysteria surrounding this particular strain of Type A Influenza? Let’s make fun of it with pig-related names. Here are a few I’ve collected, and a few I’ve contributed …
Hamthrax
Hogthrax
Spamthrax
Tuporkulosis
Porklio
Cowpox oh wait that’s real
Hogmumps
The Other Yellow Fever
Pigfluenza
Mad Sow Disease
Sowbola
Sowmonella
Spammonella
Bacon AIDS
Bacon Fever
Baconator oh wait that’s at Wendy’s
Whooping Oink
Oinking Pneumonia
Buboinking Pork
For you Star Wars fans:
Gamorreanorhea
And the end-of-the-world scenarios for the epidemic?
The Aporkalypse
Hognarok “
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.